|About Me | Conditions | Site Map|
Extracts from Eros
by Edith Cadivec, published 1931
The Meaning of My Life
I looked for and found a job as a teacher in a government-operated orphanage for girls where today I am the directress.
You should know that this is a large institution, which in 1926 celebrated its seventy-fifth anniversary. It has three sections, each of which comprises two teachers, a nurse, and thirty to thirty-five girl pupils. Ordinarily, pupils are accepted when they reach their tenth year, and in exceptional cases, eight-year-olds are also admitted. Most remain in the institution until the age of seventeen.
Our girls receive a good education, the aim of which is to train them for practical, useful stations in life. We instruct all our pupils up to the time they leave the orphanage. Every section is like a self-contained home and school. The institution is headed by a directress who is the highest authority. The orphanage consists of four villas forming a quadrangle, in the middle of which stands a large playground. The whole complex, further, is bordered by a park-like garden. I was engaged as a teacher here and in addition to helping the nurse. I had to work with another teacher in the section. Regulations are very strict, inasmuch as a high degree of discipline is absolutely necessary among so many children. On the day after my entry I learned from my colleague that in the event of an infraction of the rules, the girls were individually hauled before the directress for a birching; for instance, when they were caught lying, stealing, or being disobedient and naughty, and so on. If girls exhibit signs of sloth or indolence, or do not keep their things in order or themselves clean, they are likewise brought before the directress for punishment.
I asked my colleague: does the directress always punish the girls with the birch rod on their naked bottoms or does she employ other forms of punishment as well, and does she ever let a girl go without punishment? She answered me as follows: the directress punishes exclusively with the rod; the rod is her "perogative" and it follows therefrom that punishment always involves a wholly exposed backside. There is only once chance in a hundred, indeed one in a thousand, that a girl up for punishment will escape a birching. Hence the desperation of the girls when they are brought before the directress. She herself will give you all the necessary information about the place as soon as possible. It is her practice, as soon as a new teacher enters upon her duties, to invite her to an orientation evening in her quarters, during which the details of the job and other general problems are discussed.
I was invited to tea by the directress on the very same evening. She discussed my duties as a teacher and as a supervisor of the children; she was greatly interested in seeing to it that the pupils received the best possible instruction. After we had gone over all the details of the daily instruction programme, we came to the question of discipline. Here I pricked up my ears. At first the directress merely repeated what I had already heard from my colleague, but then she went on to discuss the different punishments that teachers were allowed to administer. She also enumerated the infractions for which a pupil was to be marched into her presence.
"And now," she continued in a tone of great solemnity, "it is my painful duty to explain what happens when they come before me. Since the founding of our orphanage in 1851, according to regulations, corporal punishments for serious infractions have been administered solely by the directress, and the instrument of punishment has always been the birch rod. A visit to the directress, therefore, is always viewed by the pupil as a sign of the greatest reward and likewise of the severest punishment. Therefore you must know that if you lead a girl into my office, she will inevitably receive a birching. This is administered to her exposed bottom, after she has been ordered to unbutton her bloomers. Little girls under ten are punished with willow soap-rods; for the older ones a birch rod soaked in salt water is used. I always administer the punishments alone, without an assistant.
"After the teacher had registered her complaint with me, she leaves the office and the culprit remains. And now I shall show you how and where the punishments take place. My office is on the second floor, and adjoining is a small room which in the beginning was set up as a punishment area. Please come with me."
You can imagine my turmoil during these explanations. My heart beat wildly and I felt a violent throbbing "elsewhere," my vulva felt swollen. I felt dizzy and I was quite overcome by the waves of sensuality. Now, now for the first time I was to see with my own eyes the place where in this house what was for me the sweetest sensations in the world took place daily.
We climbed the stairs and entered the office. It is a spacious room with a huge window overlooking the garden. The room is furnished with a desk in front of the window, a round table in the centre of the room, several chairs, a sofa and two bookcases, a rug on the floor, and pictures on the wall. From this office a small door leads to the punishment chamber. It is very small and cramped, partially slanting under the roof. A skylight with six panes occupies this slanting part of the roof. The floor is covered with a thick rug, and a felt curtain hangs over the door! Below the window there is a sofa-like piece of upholstered furniture which in our language we call a "pouffe." Approximately in the middle of this item of furniture two leather straps are attached, whose function is obvious. A chair and a low closet in the corner complete the room's appointments.
The directress opened the closet and showed me her rods: a few small willow soap-rods and many birch rods in different sizes, which were being softened in a tall jug of salt water, so as to be in constant readiness to belabour a tender behind....
Upon returning to my room after this visit and once I was in bed, sultry thoughts began a wild dance in my brain. In my mind's eye I saw all the girls in my section, passing before me in review: who would be the first that I would have to haul before the directress? I longed for the moment when I could say to a girl: "Now, child, you will come with me to pay a little visit to the directress!"
Oh, beloved, heart's companion, you will understand what wonderful dreams such thoughts and representations gave me! In my fancy I immediately picked Marie, the most beautiful among the older girls, and on the way to the directress' office I slapped her face resoundingly, which intensified my excitement. Oh, if I could unbutton her bloomers myself! She broke into a violent fit of weeping, and trembling with fear over the punishment in the offing, she tearfully and vainly implored me to spare her the birching. Oh, if she only knew that the more desperately she begged, the more she excited me into a state of pitiless severity, the more I craved to see her naked bottom under the rod for an unendurable quarter of an hour, the more I want to cite her for punishment to the directress, doing the best to achieve the desired goal....
Ah, these joy-drenched dreams - unfortunately they were still only dreams! - but gradually they became so living, so exciting, so corporeal that finally I saw Marie in the punishment chamber lying on the pouffe, her skirts raised high, her bloomers unbuttoned, her chemise held fast between the leather straps and her smooth bottom with the arched, still snow-white swelling buttocks posed, enticingly and invitingly, for a severe birching....
What excitement raged in my private parts, what a tickling I felt in my cleft, how stiffly my clitoris erected - I could not help myself, my hand sought for the locus of this ecstasy.... Marie, you won't get away.... your naked behind.... I wouldn't exchange your smooth bottom, squirming and twisting under the birching, for a kingdom.... Oh, how good it feels.... Marie.... your naked....naked bottom. And the sharp, pitiless blows of the rod. Yes, go ahead and scream! It-won't-help-you. You-must-your-buttocks....get-oh-so much that-you-can-hardly-endure....oooooooh.... How wondrously it glows...it c-o-m-e-s....