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Later on that very same day, I was lying in my narrow bed, awash with confusion and pain, when one of the other boys came to my side. He whispered harshly:
â€œCome now! We have her for you!â€¯
â€œDo not speak aloud; follow! We have Clara for you; you may take vengeance!â€¯
In the darkness, I climbed from the bed, curious about this mysterious summons. I followed the youth to the last bed on our side, where all the other boys were gathered, holding the aforementioned Miss Clara down onto the bed! I stood in amazement.
â€œYou must take your revenge,â€¯ one of the boys said softly. â€œShe will not protest; it is our way.â€¯
And the sap rose within me, for indeed I was full of resentment toward this young lady who told such a horrid tale and earned me these burning stripes. But even as I raised my hand, I halted.
â€œWhy do you wait?â€¯
â€œI cannot!â€¯ I cried. â€œShe has already been punished.â€¯
â€œYou fool!â€¯ Someone hissed. â€œYou shall not strike her; we do not practice these things upon each other. But take your cock into your hand and shower her with your spunk! Let her feel what only a boy can do!â€¯
So, these boys were not entirely unmanned as I felt! Compelled by their encouragement, I did as they commanded and took my root in my hand. In the darkness, the white and pink globes of Clara's rear shone, and her faint struggles against the boys holding her made them tremble. I began to move my hand, forward and back, as was my custom. Around me, I could see that every boy not holding poor Clara was holding his own manhood. It was a mysterious rite, a powerful moment in time, and I shuddered, closing my eyes.
Finally, I grew to my full size (and heard more then one hiss from a boy who was watching), and aimed it at Clara's twin globes. I sighed and then groaned, feeling the pain and heat of my own beating, and then sent my spunk across the air and onto her body, wetting her down and marking her with my essence. She squirmed and whimpered, but took it all. And when the boys released her with low, rough laughs, she fled back to her side of the chamber in tears.
â€œWelcome to Flayskin's Academy,â€¯ I heard, as the boys went silently back to their beds.
The sounds of their solitary vice followed me into sleep, as one after another filled their bedclothes with their own spunk. I was more confused than ever.
Days passed with no word from my mother or from the hated Mr. Baker, and each day I was compelled to dress in these same clothes, stays, stockings, and skirts. I learned to duplicate the behavior of the other lads in order to save myself from endless forms of correction. And I also learned the ways of this academy; that every student was of some quality, being from wealthy merchant families or from the peerage itself. That they were indeed youths of an age, all between eighteen and twenty-one years, too old for formal schooling and too young to assume the rights of adulthood. Most were awaiting the time when they could return home and claim inheritances rightly theirs. Others did not speak of their pasts. They were all called by childish names, and we were addressed as girls and boys without fail, to further demean us. Indeed, we called ourselves as such simply from the usage to which we were subjected. If we were to be great overgrown children, we should behave in this way. Any attempt to rise to our true behavior met with displeasure and swift punishment.
With feminine costume, I acquired a more and more unmistakably feminine gait. Indeed, during our playtime, for the mistress permitted us to play a few of those games popular with little girls, it would happen that should I miss a ball, I would open my legs to catch it in my skirt instead of closing my knees together to prevent the ball running through, as boys do. (And we played with such a light ball that doing so caused me no discomfort whatsoever.) Accustomed to high heels, I would walk with prim little steps, wriggling my hips.
Lady Flayskin complimented me upon the way I held myself and upon my care for my clothes.
The carriage of my head did not entirely please her. My under jaw was prominent and massive; like that of a wolf, she told me. Before being entrusted to the hands of Betsy and entering this school, I had threatened to become a real wild beast; a savage little weasel of a young man. I had a propensity, I may add, to thrust forward my neck like one who is ready to face friends and foes alike with equal fearlessness. This combative advance of my chin was displeasing to Lady Flayskin. Twice had she told me so. Then, for a second inattention to her words, I had been again whipped by pretty Stella before the whole assembled class and Mr. Gostock, the friend of the directress.
But deep-seated habit was stronger than I. Whenever I was not paying special attention, my jawbone took that thrust forward familiar with boxers.
So the â€œcollarâ€¯ was applied to me.
This instrument of torture consisted of a very high, thick, hard leather collar which stretched the tendons of my neck in a manner that made me shriek with pain. It obliged me to hold my head erect. My shoulder straps were also tightened, to such an extent that they pierced my flesh. The corset which they had first put on me was relatively short. They selected a longer one for my use, with incomparably stiffer steel busks, and stout Mrs. Eagle, charged specially with my dressing, pulled the laces so tight that I could scarcely breathe.
Little by little, I acquired a wasp-like waist. My boots likewise were changed. Through walking badly, I had worn out of shape those which were first given me. The new ones were far narrower and more arched. They pinched me horribly. The heels also were a good third of an inch higher and very much hollowed out and pointed. If they had begun by assigning me these latter, it is certain that I should never have succeeded in taking two steps without falling. Through habit, I learned to walk like a lady. For the rest, the new boots, like the others, were sufficiently long. Though Lady Flayskin was of opinion that a boot could not be too narrow, she declared that it would be atrocious barbarity to have them too short.
This declaration was evidently regarded as sufficient for us. She took no pains to establish her subtle contention by the least argument. For that matter, I do not suppose that any reasoning would have prevented us all being afflicted with corns and bunions, and our mistress was consequently exceedingly proud.
She was equally proud of our gloves which she frequently examined, and with the minutest attention. We were punished for the least wrinkle or scratch, and the only punishment employed was the whip.
Indeed, it was the only recognized means of discipline. The birch was used to correct inattention and negligence. If I learned anything at all in this establishment, it was drilled into me by the application of the birch to the proper part. It is the birch that I must thank for the little I know.
Males and females were treated in the same way. Our toilet was to be our chief thought and care and, since the least incorrectness in our dress was punished by a public flogging, the reader may imagine whether or no we took care to be as neat as new pins. We had to wash our hands and faces several times a day, without counting the morning bath and, although we wore our gloves continuously, we had to draw them off at least four times a day in order to show the mistress our clean hands and carefully trimmed fingernails.
As regards bodily cleanliness, Lady Flayskin's establishment could rank as a model. But the corruption of the mind brought about in this same establishment fatal and incurable demoralization.
This discipline by means of the corset, gloves, and whip was without pity. He who invented it was certainly vicious, but he was no fool. The net result of this treatment was the bringing into entire and abject submissiveness the most unruly disposition.
Lady Flayskin proceeded in the most methodical manner possible and step by step.
With her, all the students showed upright figures, incredibly slender.
Her special pride was to point to three little girls, sisters, whom their father, a widower and a man of fashion, had entrusted to her keeping at a very tender age, as soon as his wife had died.
He had not desired the responsibility of bringing up three girls. They promised to become exceedingly pretty.
When I arrived at this singular institution, the eldest was barely twenty years old, the second nineteen, and the youngest just eighteen. The eldest was of refined and delicate appearance, the second was round and chubby, and the youngest thin and slender. Not one of the three wore a corset when they arrived, many years ago.
Lady Flayskin imposed this garment upon them from their very first day under her roof. It was not precisely a corset, but a device for molding the bust to shape, tight-fitting, made of an unyielding material, which did not descend lower than the waist and contained no stiffeners.
In this jacket-corset, the girls had to get through all their occupations. At nighttime, during their sleep, they were not permitted to take it off. They had to be content with the lacing being just loosened a little by the mistress when they went to bed.
At the end of three months, these embryonic corsets were put aside and replaced by appliances of much more serious appearance and effect. The corsets were now cut much longer, though of the same fabric, while whalebone stiffeners were employed, and the lacing was much more tightly done by the mistress. In the evening, there was no loosening of the lacing whatever. After this garment had been employed for six months, it was replaced by what may be styled an armored corset; yet longer than the preceding one, of stiff linen overlaid with silk, with stiffeners of steel and whalebone. The laces of plaited silk were drawn very tight. These corsets were employed for a year. True, they were used only during the daytime. At night, the girls were again dressed in their former corsets, which they had worn during the preceding six months. Now, however, they were laced much more tightly and there were inserted in it some fairly yielding whalebones.
Little by little, without the apparent employment of violence, Lady Flayskin had succeeded in lacing her pupils very tightly indeed. Finally, the laces of silk were replaced by leather laces, of the material used for thongs of whips and, that the lacing might be done to perfection, a small capstan was used. The young ladies had their breathing impeded and showed signs of becoming asthmatic. They complained of pains in their chests and were frightfully pale.
Lady Flayskin was pitiless. The lacing was never loosened. Nature finished by conforming to the cruelty, and the young bodies lost their pristine beauty.
These ladies became exceedingly delicate. Their appetite was small and their digestion impaired, while the least walking exercise took away their breath. In fact, all effort was painful.
Their waists were extraordinarily small. The plump one, Miss Jessy, whose little stomach had formerly been almost prominent, decreased in waist measure, although she had grown from a little girl to a big one. At the age of nineteen, she still had chubby cheeks and large limbs, but her waist measured only eighteen inches.
If the other young ladies of the school were a little stouter than these three sisters, whose training in the matter of corsets had been so methodical, it remained a fact that the waists of our scholars were renowned. They had a reputation which had traveled everywhere within a distance of twenty miles round, and when a young girl of remarkable smallness of waist entered a London drawing-room, the remark did not fail to be made that she must have received her education at the establishment of Lady Flayskin.
We boys were made to submit to equally severe discipline as the girls, in this matter of stays and gloves. In this extraordinary restraint, Lady Flayskin was always inflexibly severe. Sometimes she would pardon a badly written exercise, lack of application, or chattering during class-time, but if there was so much as a crease in a glove or if a boy succeeded surreptitiously in loosening his stays to the extent of a quarter of an inch, the rod followed without mercy.
The result of thus living in a state of constraint and fear was to render our wills tractable. We became docile in the extreme, ready to submit in the most abject manner to any demand that was made of us.
We expressed our eagerness to carry out the least desire of a mistress. If Lady Flayskin herself deigned to give us an order, we obeyed with a kind of exaltation or religious terror. We all feared pretty Stella, Mr. Gostock's protege, for each posterior bore lively recollections of this young lady. In time, I was able to finally witness one of Mr. Gostock's â€œrewardsâ€¯ upon Miss Sinclair, and was so affected by the sight that I dreamed of it for many nights.
This overwrought and constrained state of mind and body, caused by absurd feminine garments, reduced our manly high spirits to such a degree that we would gladly have played with dolls if we had had any. Instead of thinking of teasing the lassies, we forgot altogether that they were girls and in any way different from ourselves. This resulted from seeing so much of them, from being called by girls' names and from wearing the same clothes as they did. Similarly, when a girl was addressing me as Alice, it was hard for her to remember that I was not a girl. As young ladies are wont to do, we kissed and caressed one another without any wrong thoughts, yet these caresses would excite our sensibilities. We would then remember the difference of sex.
And then, oh, the stolen pleasures we enjoyed! How wonderful were the mysteries of the flesh! Tender, sweet kisses would give way to sweeter caresses, our fingers tangled in each other's hair, stroking gentle lines down throats and onto shoulders pained by the straps and bindings we were compelled to wear. Terrible floggings were met with solicitous pettings and soothings of the affronted area, sometimes by one sympathetic classmate, yet most often by several! We were all suffering together, it seemed, and the pettiness of the day would give way to finer instincts in the dark.
It was always when one of us had been whipped that the dormitory would be most astir. The others would press round the sufferer and seek to console him. At these times, we behaved like true sisters of charity. Our hands would raise the long nightgown, which, as though we had been girls, we all wore, and our hands would do their best by their gentle touch to soothe the pain of the victim. I was not at the school for more then a week when I found that such attention could be enlarged upon to its logical end.
One late evening I was awakened to find that one of the other lads, one who had been well and thoroughly birched before the class that very day, was being ministered to by two other boys and one of the young ladies as well. I awoke to the sound of their sighs as the three stroked and caressed the wounded boy, drawing the fire from his limbs with their cool fingers, their activities illuminated by a single taper brought by the young miss. As I watched, the three touched their pained comrade in the way the Persians call â€œmassage,â€¯ easing him, yet calling forth from him cries of such pleasure and ease that my own body, worn and broken, responded with eagerness!
To my amazement, their soothing did not end with such firm yet casual caresses, but the boy rose up and allowed their hands to stroke his chest and the tangle of hair between his thighs! His own sounds of pleasure, muffled by expedience, became quite steady! My own hands crept down to that corresponding place while I witnessed this strange act, and without giving much thought to the matter, I was soon breathing in time with him. His final thrusting and mewling, spilling his own pleasure well into the hand of the miss who was â€œcomforting" him, was matched with my own. We were always careful to hide any such evidence of evening entertainments! Such moments became a regular part of my nights, even to my first experience being the recipient of such soothing.
It was a combination of a boy and a girl who so first approached me one night and laid their hands upon me. And while the young lady kissed my tear-streaked face and my bruised lips, my fellow male took hold of my root and worked it as only a boy would know how, until I moaned and whimpered. The girl brought my eager hands up to her soft bubs and kissed me with such passion that I could only spend like a rutting dog, shaking and thrusting into the hand beneath my body.
Still, at such moments, a feeling of fear would be aroused, and the pleasure of our sensations would be enhanced by our dread of discovery. It is true that Lady Flayskin and our mistress themselves when dressing us or flogging us would similarly excite our feelings and make us feel strangely confused. But this nighttime activity they never seemed to notice. They harangued us unceasingly regarding decency and morality, and Mr. Gostock, who took so evident a joy in watching pretty Stella at work whipping a bare posterior, would preach most edifying sermons upon morality and chastity, even before parting her white thighs and spearing her upon his pole! It was most confusing.
Now the girls' and boys' dormitories were separated, but only by a thin partition. On those rare nights when there was no particular victim who deserved great attention, those of us males who were not asleep or dealing with our individual voluptuous needs would hear curious sounds. There were whisperings and kisses and the laughter of tired females being tickled. Our curiosity would be awakened. We would follow suit on our side of the wall, and the girls would hear similar sounds coming from us. Giggles would soon give way to sighs, and then to the sounds of pleasure and ease.
Often that would lead to the stealthy exchange of boys and girls from one side of the room to the other, and then the delightful sounds of kissing and rubbing, and then the glorious, inevitable sucking sounds which meant that pleasure known only to gods was being shared.
I shall never forget the night when a young man and two young ladies came to me and took possession of my body as though it were a new toy. Beaten, broken, devastated by my new role in life, I silently acquiesced to their wishes, taking and giving kisses as they commanded, on a male nipple here and a female one there, on a pale, soft shoulder, and onto a strong, muscular thigh. So confused was I that soon I could barely tell the difference, as they pushed and prodded my hands and head to where they desired them. Finally my hands were guided to that organ which matched my own on the boy as the girl lowered her sweet face into my lap and took me up into her! The sensations, the ecstasy! My hands tightened, and I heard the groan from the boy, but he failed to pull away, savoring my grip upon him as I savored the girl's upon myself. Then, the other girl, with a soft giggle, spread wide her thighs and lowered the petals of her sex over my lips so that I could taste the nectar within.
And thus it came that my first expenditure of pleasure came while my arse was burning with stripes, my hands clenched around a strange man's member, my mouth fastened upon the private parts of one girl and my shaft engulfed in the soft mouth of a girl whose name I did not know. How assured were her movements, and how bold she was with me! And how I veritably exploded, even as her mouth never ceased its work!
These nocturnal maraudings had their dangers, as the mistresses would frequently make their rounds. But the danger was an attraction. Forâ€”shall I confess it?â€”while we feared the whip, we grew to desire it. On certain days, whether because the weather was heavy or stormy, or for some other inexplicable reason, we would grow restless and commit faults with the obvious and sole object of being whipped. Sometimes Lady Flayskin, Stella, and all the mistresses were not numerous enough for the flogging which was requiredâ€”our desires in this direction being always gratified to the best of the abilities of our superiors.
At these times, six males and perhaps ten females would be ranged in a kneeling line with drawers down, awaiting the penance of the birch.
What a chorus of cries, entreaties, sobs, and wails would then be heard!
If the thick walls and the large garden had not deadened these sounds, an astonished passer-by would certainly have thought they proceeded from a madhouse. For never, unless the recollection of early days, similarly passed, had come to him, could he have guessed the truth. We were youths surely taken up and mastered by the rod!