This is where the participants wish to use Spanking as part of their foreplay leading (probably) to sex! It is built on the development of my '"pain and pleasure;pleasure and pain'' philosophy. Small amounts of pain will stimulate and, in my experience, enhance the pleasure of the 'spankee' and soon show suitable results!
This is entirely different and the sole use is to inflict pain on the 'spankee'. This may be in a home situation where the' spankee' has done something which really deserves discipline, or in some cases I have used it with executives who find that they need to be exposed to pain and humiliation outside their usual environment.
Erotic/Disciplinary Spanking mixed
This is a fascinating area for the Professional Spanker and offers many opportunities for couples to interact. It needs to be treated very carefully as it can lead to unforseen consequences. I always tell my spankees I will take you as far along the spanking path as you wish to go but will stop and any poit you may wish me to cease! Usually it starts with a standard hand spanking and then develops its own momentum OR conversely it starts with discipline and the 'spankee' finds that the pain NEEDS some relief- which maybe obtained erotically.
All of these will be dealt with in much more detail in the rest of the pages.on 'How to Spank'. You can see the links to using the various instruments below.
Finally in this introductory section you should remember. NEVER EVER SPANK IN ANGER. This is the way to cause damage to the 'spankee'!.
Finding a Spanker
In this section I want to takes the place of a woman who finds she wants, or feels the need, to be spanked.but has no partner and I will set out a typical scenario from the first indication in her mind. Obviously much of this is hypothetical as I am NOT a woman but, after many conversations with visitors, I hope it covers much of the initial progression.
This lady who we will call Alice lives on her own and, when checking the internet, she comes across Spanking websites such as The Disciplinarian which offers pictures of Spanking as well as stories. These interest the lady enough to investigate further and, again checking the internet she finds a number of men offering to spank ladies.
This is where it becomes trickier as she is now in a very private world where references are not usually available. She contacts one of the numbers (remembering NOT to give out her own telephone number)to find out more about the person she is talking to. Try to find out if he spanks on a regular basis, will he come to you or you go to him. Never agree to a hotel. Arrange a first meeting at a neutral venue where you can talk through what might happen. If he is genuine you will soon find out by asking what happens. The genuine Spanker will have lots of ways of working with ladies and will quote examples, while the novice has little experience and 'waffles'. Avoid the latter as they can hurt you through lack of knowledge, or because for them it is a 'turn on', and the pain of the woman is part of their pleasure.
We now assume that you have agreed a visit (to him or you) and a fee has been agreed. A fee is not unusual as professional submissive ladies will charge men £150 -£200 for a 1-2-1 spanking session of an hour.
He is visiting you and he arrives on time bringing the 'tools of his trade'. You have a short chat and a drink. The next hurdle is the 'SAFE WORD'. This is the key moment for both of you. If he does not offer you one then beware as the 'SAFE WORD' is the MAGIC word which stops all action between you. The word can be anything you would not normally say "RED", "BANANA". "FESTIVAL" the word can be anything which would not be normal in a spanking. While being spanked ladies often ask for' harder' or to 'stop' these are words with the scenario which can be ignored. The 'SAFE WORD' is without and MUST be obeyed. A genuine Professional Spanker will ask you to suggest one, or offer one himself. The novice spanker will not think of it.
Why is the 'SAFE WORD' important? It allows the lady to stop the action at any point. She may be frightened at the intensity of what is happening, she may decide spanking is not for her. or possibly the spanker is hurting her. Whatever the reason this is her 'safety valve'.upon which all action ceases. If you are paying for the session then it is a matter of negotiation as to any refund.
A final warning is that unless you have met a spanker for several sessions do not allow Bondage - no handcuffs, blindfolds, leg-spreaders,or ropes. These are for a safe environment when you are comfortable with your partner.
One other tip is to give a close friend a warning that you will call them at a given time to show all is OK. Only a short message is needed "Hi Mary! Everything is fine!" for example.
You are now comfortable, although tense - after all you are now going into the unknown! I liked my ladies to be wearing wide skirts and stockings but NO trousers and NO tights. When a session starts you want as little distraction as possible and standing up after several minutes to remove trousers or tights ruins the continuity of the experience and breaks the flow. Your spankee should be deep into relaxation by now and standing or wriggling to remove trousers or tights breaks this flow.
The good spanker will use a settee and have the lady across his knees (as in the picture at the top) allowing him perfect access to her bottom and her to relax along the settee. He then starts spanking. over her dress. Softly at first. One cheek and then the other. As he spanks so he massages. There will be little reaction at present as the lady can scarcely felt the spanks but the very fact that she is being spanked and nothing unpleasant is happening allows her to gradually relax.
N.B. For spanking the spanker sitting on a chair and the spankee over their lap is NOT recommended as the position is not conducive to relaxation or for a long session. This for showing on Video or picture but not for real.
Continue like this for several minutes and then lift the dress from the hem up and onto her back so that her knickers are exposed. If done correctly the reaction will be minimal. Just the feeling of coolness as the dress is raised. Continue spanking over her knickers. fast, slow, slow fast, hard, soft, soft hard. vary the spanks while at the same time gently massaging. Why massaging? This prevents bruising and is also slightly erotic. By now the reactions of the lady will be clear to the spanker and he then decides whether to continue his progress by drawing her knickers into her bum crack and spanking on her bare bum cheeks.
If the signs are positive and the lady is enjoying the experience then he can remove the knickers and continue spanking on the bare buttocks. he should now spank harder although making sure that it is his hand that spanks NOT the fingers. Now the decision must be made as to whether to continue. For many ladies the hand-spanking will be adequate for their first experience and they will wish to stop. For others a 'taste ' of one or more of the instruments is now called for.
REMEMBER we want the lady to say "Thank you, I think I could have taken more!". This is the encouragement that spanking is genuinely something they wish to continue, maybe at a future date. For others this is a 'one off' which answers their questions and will never be repeated. For the final and smallest group this is the entry pass to the private SPANKER/SPANKEE' world..
For much more on all forms of spanking CLICK on the links at the top to take you to the relevant page.