THE THREE CHUMS:
A TALE OF
LONDON EVERYDAY LIFE
(Continued from page 94)
At this moment a regular old swell came upon the scene, and
offered half a sov, as a prize in addition to the wager.
"I won't show for less than a quid," said the policeman,
going on leisurely with his grinding, as he had evidently passed
the crisis at the moment his arse was slapped by the soldier.
"Lend me your bull's-eye then, and I will give the quid just
for a spree; but I'm damned if I don't have a good sight. I'd
give £500 for a genuine cock-stand for once, its so long
since I had one. A fine p — k just drawn from a swimming
c — t is the most glorious sight in the world."
The bobby handed up his lantern to the old swell, who at
once turned its glare full on the policeman's arse, standing
rather behind as he did so, and even stooping a little, to throw
it well underneath, and enjoy the luscious sight, as they still
went on with their f—g.
"Here, my boy, lend me your cane, and I'll make him feel
nice," said the old swell, tipping the guardsman a bit of gold.
"Right, your honour!" replied the soldier, taking out a
penknife and splitting the end of the cane up so as to divide
it into a lot of thin ends.
Quite seven or eight persons were now round the f—~g
pair, as the gent commenced to lay on the bobby's brawny
We could hear the stinging cuts and see big weals rise at
each impact, which made the plucky fellow bound, and
almost groan in pain, but in two or three minutes, it might
have been less, he grew intensely excited, ramming into his
girl (who evidently enjoyed it) with long, lunging strokes,
as she clasped him convulsively, returning a heave of her but-
tocks for every home thrust.
The red weals looked as fiery as possible, for a network
of lines all over the blushing surface, and little drops of
were just beginning to ooze from the abraded skin, when they
both seemed to again come together in a perfect frenzy of
"Now, bobby, show up, before you lose that fine stiffness,
see, the guardsman has got himself ready!" exclaimed the
old swell, suddenly turning the bull's-eye on the soldier, who
had been masturbating himself as he enjoyed the sight, but
he was nowhere in the show by the side of the tremendous
truncheon which the policeman exposed as he withdrew
it with a plop, all glistening with luscious moisture from the
girl's yet clinging and longing crack.
The bobby had his quid, and the old fellow walked off, as
we supposed, to grope the soldier, who went with him.
Betsy and Sarah drew our hero to a quiet seat, where all
three spent quite another hour in f—g, groping, and kissing,
till at last Charlie was milked as dry as a stick, and
bade them good night, with promises of another rendezvous
in a day or two.
A Night in St. John's Wood
It would be too tedious to relate all the luscious little
dents that occurred to Charlie with Fanny or Mrs. Letsam,
or even to describe more of his frequent visits with his cousins
to the three pretty milliners of Store Street.
Things went quietly for a time, as the three chums were
agreed to save their coin for one grand spree, when pere
Mortimer would be out of town, and never know if they
stayed out all night. This was to be a grand winding-up orgie,
preparatory to serious study, when their term began, as all
three really wished to prepare themselves to get on in after
life in some good profession.
When the day arrived Charlie was to meet his cousins or
rather call for them in Bloomsbury Square, about 10 p.m.
"There's some mischief on to-night, I guess," said Fanny,
who had helped him to put on his overcoat. "Mind where
you go to, Charlie, dear; those cousins will take you to see
girls, and God only knows what you may catch!" as she threw
her arms round his neck, and almost sobbed with vexation.
"Why can't you come back and have poor little pussey, you
pretend to be so fond of, instead of sleeping out as you say
you are going to do?"
But he released himself as kindly as possible from the
loving embrace, for fear his rising p — k should lead him to
give way to her endearments, and spoil him for the spree on
"You'll get tipsy, and perhaps be locked up," she said with
a pout, as he skipped downstairs.
He found Harry and Frank quite ready to start, and all
three walked off in the highest possible animal spirits. They
walked along Oxford Street and down Regent Street, so as
to get into Coventry Street just as the theatres and music
halls had dispersed their audiences to swell the usually
crowded thoroughfare. A bevy of students were creating a
disturbance, and hustling everyone off the pavement, bonnet-
ing the policeman, and behaving very roughly, even to delicate
girls who might get in their way.
"Oh, do protect me, and see me safe through the crowd!"
said a sweet, pretty well but modestly dressed girl about
seventeen; those students always frighten me so!"
"There's three of us, and well see you safe. Where do you
want to go?"
"My brougham is waiting by Swan and Edgar's, in Regent
Street; if you will see me so far, I shall be so obliged."
"And no further?" enquired Charlie.
"Well I didn't like to be so forward; besides, you would
not like to leave your friends," she said, quietly.
"Take us, too," said Harry; "have you no lady friends you
could ask to join the party; you must know a couple of pretty
girls, for we want to make a night of it."
"Quick, then; or we may lose them. If not engaged I
promised to call before twelve at Blanchard's for two young
friends and drive them home; you will be delighted if we
find them; and I am pleased enough with my partner," she said,
pressing Charlie's arm, and looking archly in his face, with
an expression which spoke a whole volume of voluptuousness.
The brougham was quickly found and ordered to pick
them up at Blanchard's. As they walked the short distance
to the corner of New Burlington Street, Charlie inquired
of his charming companion, if she was prepared with supper
at home, and finding her resources at that late hour not quite
adequate to a party of six, they secured a large game pie,
bottle of champagne, brandy, &c, at the restaurant, as soon
as they had made sure the young ladies were there; then
calling for two bottles of fizz, they wetted the acquaintance
before starting off in the brougham for Circus Road, St. John's
Three more exquisitely charming girls could not have fallen
to their lot than Clara Seymour, and her companions, Alice
Morris and Lena Horwright, the latter an expecially volup-
tuous creature, as will be seen in the sequel.
At length it was closing time for the restaurant, and they
embarked on the voyage to the north-west, it being as much
as they could all do to squeeze into a brougham only intended
Jehu was in a hurry to get home, so that the clock striking
one saw them at their destination, but short as the journey
had been the girls managed to rack off a spend from their
gentlemen, who enjoyed a delicious grope in the dark, as
they jolted along.
Miss Seymour lived by herself in a neat little cottage resi-
dence, which had a coach-house and stable attached, Lord
Cursitor, her chief patron, allowing her £150 a year to keep
a man, horse, and carriage. A rather demure-looking middle-
aged servant ushered the party into the house, and showed
them into a good-sized elegantly furnished front parlour,
which opened by folding doors into Clara's own bedroom,
to which the ladies at once retired, leaving the three young
gentlemen to themselves for a minute or two.
They were evidently high-spirited girls, to guess from the
laughing and joking which seemed going on between them
in the bed-room, and presently a succession of gurgling rills
could be distinctly heard when they used the pot-de<hambre
to relieve their slightly distended bladders.
Charlie rapped at the folding doors, saying, "I wish you
ladies would lend us your spare chamber, we're simply
bursting for relief."
"Are you, my dears?" said Lena, opening the door, pot in
hand, "it's something thicker than water you want to get
rid of I expect, and I'll wager a sovereign, not one of you can
make water if I hold the chamber. Now, try! Come Clara and
Alice to see fair!"
Charlie tried first, but the thoughts of Clara, and Lena's
wicked looks produced such an erection, that he rushed
from the pot, and placed his p — k in Clara's hand, asking her
to ease him at once. Nothing loth she drew him to the side
of her bed, and raising her clothes exposed the lovely cleft to
his amorous gaze.
"My fanny always expects a little kiss first," she whispered
to him, as her face slightly flushed, which added very con-
siderably to her beauty.
Charlie was on his knees in a moment, paying his devotions
to that divinely delicate-looking, pink slit, just shaded as
it was by reddish golden hair, as soft as the finest silk. His
tongue divided its juicy lips, searching out her pretty
which at once stiffened under the lascivious osculation. It
was more like a rabbit's p-—k than anything, and his fingers
could just uncover its rosy head as he gently frigged it, suck-
ing at the same time.
A perfect shudder of emotion thrilled through her body.
"Oh, oh! F — k me, quick; your kisses have set me on fire!"
Suiting the action to the words, she threw herself backwards
across the bed, and Charlie rose to the charge in a moment,
throwing himself over her, gluing his lips to hers, as his
distended weapon forced its way between the moist but
yielding lips of her tight little quim.
A quiver of delight thrilled through her frame as he
gained complete insertion, her lovely legs encased in delicate
knickerbocker drawers, fringed with lace, and set off by rose-
coloured silk stockings and high-heeled Parisian boots were
thrown amorously over his fine manly buttocks, whilst his
hands were clasped round her lovely rump as it rose in
agitated heaves in response to his vigorous thrusts.
(Continued on page 189)
CHOICE LETTER FROM
THE GREEK OF ARISTENETUS
Terpsion to Polycles
To convince you how insensibly love gets admission into the
most innocent hearts, be pleased to read over the following
story: A young country girl fell desperately in love with her
mistress's gallant, and took fire herself, while she contributed
to extinguish that of others. Being obliged to keep watch
upon the stairs, lest the lovers should be surprised, she could
not but often hear their murmuring and fighting. She saw
them too, folded in one another's embraces, performing the
ceremony of love; and thus through the eyes and ears of this
tender girl, the god of love, with his torch and arrows,
plunged himself over head and ears in her panting breast.
She bewailed the unhappiness of her condition, and accused
her destiny for giving her a mind susceptible of the most
tender impressions, yet denying her the means of satisfying
them, "Why should not I," said she, "participate in pleasure
with my mistress, since I have a soul as sensible as hers?
Why should love, that tramples over all the distinctions of
rank and quality, show himself faint-hearted only in my
quarrel?" But she did not long afflict herself with these
unprofitable complaints. Venus would not suffer her to lose
the time in lazy wishes; for being sent one afternoon to invite
the gallant to her mistress's lodgings, without any preamble
or preface, she accosted him in this manner:
"Sir," said she, "I believe you to be a gentleman, and
willing to ease the longings of a young virgin. If my face will
go down with you, that, and the rest of my body, are at your
service. You know well enough what it is to love, and there-
fore will have a compassion, I hope, on one that languishes
under that distemper."
The gentleman, without further ado, took her at her word,
and was so courteous as to play the priest, since she was so
willing to be the sacrifice. He soon eased her of that burden
she complained of, and owned that he never received more
pleasure in his life.
The kisses of married women are generally insipid; the
kisses of mercenary harlots are fallacious and deceitful; but
those of an innocent, uninstructed virgin are sincere, and
consequently the most delicious.
Our lovers had* like to have fainted away under the violence
of their agitation; their souls kept hovering about their
mouths, but their uninterrupted kisses denied them a pas-
sage. While the golden minutes passed away in these trans-
ports, the mistress, who was seized with a fit of jealousy to
see them stay so long, stole softly into the room, and sur-
prised them in very criminal circumstances. The unhappy
maid found the first effects of her indignation, whom she
thumped and beat, and dragged by the hair. But the poor
wench entreated her to consider, that though her ill stars had
sent her a slave into the world, which was none of her fault,
she had as strong inclinations as the best of her sex; that
love was an imperious deity; and when he had once got
entrance into a heart, would not throw up his possession,
as she herself could not but know by experience.
"Wherefore, Madame," says she, "in consideration of love,
who is our common master, and whose yoke both of us carry,
be pleased to forgive this indiscretion in me; which, after
the worst gloss you can put upon it, was only the effect of a
foolish curiosity, from which the best of women are not
These complaints, so innocently delivered, soon appeased
her mistress's fury, who taking her gallant by the hand, thus
"I find," cries she, "you are of the humour of some people,
who had rather gather sour grapes, than stay till they are ripe.
What could make you so foolishly trifle your time with a silly
raw baggage, that is so far from knowing how to perform her
part in the chorus of love, that she does not yet understand
how to level her kisses aright. A virgin is dull and heavy, and
unacquainted with the true management of a passion; whereas
such a woman as I am, that has tried many a fall with many a
man in her time, needs not the instruction of anyone, but
gives the utmost satisfaction. In short, a woman gives, but a
virgin only receives kisses, which makes a sensible difference
between them; and this," continued she to her spark, "you
know well enough, but if you want to have your memory
refreshed, come to me to-night, and I will make you own that
I am in the right."
What happened upon this, I cannot tell, neither am I de-
sirous to know, because all men affect to govern themselves
by their own peculiar palates, but especially in the business
At a late assize for the city of Exeter, a country girl
as the prosecutrix of a young man for a rape. She described
all the preliminaries of her "fall" with so much coolness
and precision, that the lad's counsel asked her if she made
any resistance? "O yes, my 'lord,' that I did, your honour —I
'cried out' lustily!" "Aye, aye, that she did," bawled out a
bumpkin present; "but it was —nine months afterwards."
Mrs. W —, of the Theatre Royal, exhibiting at a certain
bagnio a pair of legs which were very handsome, and much
alike, her gallant, almost at a loss what soft nothings to say,
declared they resembled each other so much that they must
certainly be 'twins'! "O, my dear sir," said she, "that cannot
be; for I have had a great many between them!"
Among a number of prohibitions for the Sabbath the fol-
lowing seems truly ludicrous, and may not be generally
known: A new married man may bed with his wife, though
she be still a virgin, yet he must not enjoy the rights of
though she is his lawful wife, because the rabbins have forbid
'tearing' on the Sabbath.
A Jew husband may be divorced from his wife for the
three following reasons:
1 — If she has got a stinking breath, and concealed it from
him before she was married.
2 —If they have been married ten years, and she never
proved with child.
3 — If he can prove her guilty of adultery.
It is believed that the reason why a divorce can be obtained
on account of barrenness in a woman is, that the intent of
marriage is not fulfilled, it being to increase and multiply.
The rabbins will not allow it lawful for man and wife to act
together by day light, or candle light, but order that it must
done in darkness, with the curtains drawn. They add, that any
man making water with his nakedness towards the bed, will
be reduced to poverty.
THE LOVERS DESIRE
You hate me, dear girl; say no more you love,
If I must only know what is above;
To kiss your lips and hands, these are but toys,
They're torments unto lovers, and not joys.
I hate the wanton folly of a kiss,
If not a passage to a further bliss.
Men seek treasures in women, and if so,
You must give leave to let them dig below
The barren face of earth; since Nature's art,
Hath hid such pleasures in her secret part.
Why then so coy? Perhaps you would be wed,
Before you'd lose your precious maidenhead;
Then I may claim it as my right and due,
The law then gives it me! It is not you;
If you would have me think't a kindness shown,
Then give it freely whilst it is your own.
THE LADY AND PHYSICIAN
Fair Urfly, in a merry mood,
Consulted her physician,
What time was best to stir the blood,
And spirits, by coition.
Quoth Woodward, if my judgment's right,
An answer worth returning;
You'll find it pleasantest o'er night,
Most wholesome in the morning.
Quoth Urfly, then, for pleasure's sake,
Each evening will I take it;
And ev'ry morning when I wake,
My constant physic make it.
THE FIG LEAF
Did ladies now (as we are told
Our great grandmother did of old)
Wake to a sense of blasted fame,
The fig-tree spoil to hide their shame,
So num'rous are those modern Eves,
A forest scarce could find them leaves.
VOLUPTUOUS CONFESSIONS OF A
FRENCH LADY OF FASHION
[Translated from the French}
PART I — Continued from page 125
Everything was in the same state as I have described, but a
ladder was necessary, and I knew that there was one to be
found in a passage near a linen cupboard. The pair of steps
was very heavy, but the burning fire of curiosity that
my movements doubled my strength. I dragged it into the
alcove, found the hole and the canvas that was stretched in
front of it, and with a pair of scissors I cut a small piece out
of the picture. To my satisfaction, I found I could thus have
a good view of the entire room, and above all —of the bed.
I came downstairs quickly, shut the door, took the key, and
returned to the garden. Everything had been executed so
quickly that no one had noticed the strange fact of my ab-
sence. The whole of the day and the evening seemed to me
to be mortally long.
At last, about half-past ten, my grandmother retired to rest,
and we all followed suit. Monsieur B. wished us good night,
and went off to his room; my aunt remained with me for an
instant and saw me safely into my bed chamber. I kissed her
and said "good evening."
I undressed without delay, and dismissed the maid. Then I
drew on my stockings again, put on a pair of velvet slippers
and a dressing-gown of dark colour, and waited.
At about a quarter after eleven, I slid like a shadow into
the corridor; reached the little door without interruption,
opened it, and locked myself in, noiselessly and without diffi-
culty, and then I mounted my ladder, settled myself down as
comfortably as possible, and looked through my peep hole.
My success was complete, as I could see distinctly. The
clean white bed seemed like an altar decked out for a sacri-
fice; a lamp placed on the night-table inundated the brilliant
linen with an intense flood of light. Bertha was in the adjoin-
ing room, where I heard her performing her ablutions. They
took some time, and were apparently of varied kinds, if I
judge by the sound of a certain instrument that made a noise
as if of clockwork being wound up.
She came back into the room at last, with nothing on but
her dressing-gown, and going to the bed turned it down,
arranged the pillows, and placed the lamp so as to throw a
still greater light upon it. Then she took a delicate cambric
chemise, trimmed with lace, and advancing towards the full-
length mirror of the wardrobe, looked in the glass for a minute
or two, and by a graceful movement of her shoulders let slip
the chemise she had on, which arrested in its downward
course for a second by the swelling of her hips, soon fell
twisted at her feet. She had already put off her gown, and now
appeared completely naked before my startled eyes.
No one could dream of anything finer! Her breasts, firm
and high, stuck out boldly, and were surmounted by two
strawberry nipples of a bright rose-pink; the fall of her back
and her backside were both admirable.
At the bottom of her white and polished belly, her luxu-
rious ebony fleece, the length and thickness of which consti-
tuted a true rarity, could be plainly seen. The contrast of this
enormous black spot upon a body so white gave to Bertha
a peculiar appearance of strange voluptuousness.
She drew her lace shift over her head, put on her dressing-
gown again, loosely tying her girdle, and then walked into
her parlour, holding the door ajar. A moment afterwards, I
heard cautious footsteps, the door was shut to and double
locked, and Bertha and Monsieur B. appeared in the bedroom.
He had slippers on his naked feet, and was dressed in a sum-
mer smoking jacket, under which was only his shirt. Bertha
made him sit upon a sofa, and she took her place on his left
knee. Their mouths met in a lingering kiss, and then they
spoke of their marriage, retarded by some obstacle that
Monsieur B. could soon overcome.
"My dear angel," said he, "how I thank you for having had
sufficient confidence in me, so as not to have made me
languish and wait for your precious favours! You lavish them
on your true spouse, who will reward you by his everlasting
As he spoke he opened the top of Bertha's dressing-gown,
and alternately kissed the two pure globes, while my aunt,
reclining backwards, shuddered beneath the caresses that
seemingly caused her to shiver voluptuously in every vein.
Alfred, profiting by this movement, once more opened the
gown, but this time at the bottom, and lifting up her chemise
toyed a moment with the lovely black hairs, of which he ap-
peared doatingly fond. Then, slightly opening the nook they
were hiding, I noticed his finger slip upwards a little, and re-
new the playful friction that I had seen my aunt practice
herself, and the imitation of which had procured for me such
As for Bertha, she had seized upon and displayed the
splendid member, and I could not take my eyes off it. It
appeared to me to be longer and bigger than the first time
I had seen it. It was fully eight or nine inches long, and as
big round as my wrist.
My aunt opened her thighs, and therefore stretched her
slit, which did not appear longer than my little finger. How
is it possible, said I to myself, that an instrument of that
can penetrate entirely into such a little place? I concluded
that my aunt, by the position she was in the first time, had
doubtless received that great machine not in her body, but
between her thighs, and that it must have been its rubbing
against her that had rendered her so happy. My error was
soon rectified, as during my reflections the two lovers had
continued their sweet clicketing in silence.
"Ah!" said Bertha; "my husband! . . . my darling! ... go
on . .. Ah! I am so happy! .. . How lovely Mimi is! Oh, how
I shall spend! . .. It's coming now! . .. Do it a little longer!
... Ah! I die!"
A long and silent pause, while Bertha seemed quite over-
come; her form thrown back, her head hidden on her sweet-
heart's shoulder, her glorious thighs still wide apart. Monsieur
B. gazed at her intently, ravished at the sight.
"Come, now, come," cried Bertha, rising; "come and put it
into me. I must have it all. I want it all! Come, I am on fire.
I burn, Mimi, so quick, flood me with your bounteous liquour."
Bertha threw off her dressing-gown, and stretched herself
upon the bed. Alfred did the same, but, before putting him-
self near Bertha, he lifted his shirt and rolled it under his
armpits. How beautiful he was, built like Hercules and
Apollo; his proud instrument stood up stiffly growing out of
a thick bush that showed it off splendidly, as he got upon
Bertha was lying on her back, her legs parted and lifted
a little. Alfred got between, on his knees, and lifted his
darling's chemise right up to her neck, thus exposing her naked
form to my gaze. I expected to see her get up and turn her
backside to her lover as before, as I thought that was the
way it could be done, but to my great astonishment I found it
was not so. Monsieur B. stretched himself upon her; Bertha
lifted her legs and crossed them on his back, in such a manner
that nothing escaped me. I could distinctly see Bertha's hand
capture the instrument, and direct its head to the centre of
the little slit that opened to receive it. Monsieur B. gave a
vigorous stroke of the loins, to which Bertha answered, and
at least half of the machine penetrated into the little hole,
which dilated and began to engulph it, A few more move-
ments completed the insertion, and I saw their two growths
of hair mingled together. At last I knew all about it.
Now there was nothing but movements, sighs, inarticulate
words, and maddening shivers.
"Let me have it all. . . Ah! how fine it is ... Go gently,
... Let us spend slowly ... Hold me tight."
"My sweet darling! ... Lift up your thighs, so that it can
get right in .. . There! .. . Do you feel it? Ah! how delight-
"I die! ... Are you ready?... My Alfred; I'm going to
spend .. . I... I ... make haste!"
"I'm ready ... It's coming ... There, it comes .. . Spend
now ... I'm spending... Ah! ... I've come!"
Both remained quite quiet for a moment, then Alfred rose
and I saw the dear affair as before, coming out little, red, and
dropping a tear.
Bertha remained a little longer without giving signs of life,
but she got up at last, and after smothering Alfred with kisses
went for an instant into her dressing-room.
I thought it was all over, and began to arrange my retreat,
but a secret presentiment made me stop.
Bertha went to bed again, embraced her lover in her arms,
and they engaged in sweet conversation.
"I have been so happy, dear! It is so much better when we
are quite at our ease, and you do it so well."
"My darling, there is not a more perfect woman than you in
the whole world! I want to eat you up bodily!"
And, once more pushing up Bertha's chemise, Alfred
covered with kisses the whole of the beautiful body that
trembled beneath his caresses, and when he arrived at the
centre of bliss, he opened it, bit it gently, and kissed it pas-
"Stop, dear," said Bertha, "stop! You will fatigue yourself.
"No, darling, look! See he once more asks permission to go
into his little companion. You won't refuse him?"
"Let me see, M. Mimi! So you've come back to your
splendid state? Yes, you are handsome? Well, well; I'll put
you in prison once more. There, place yourself like that, and
"What are you going to do?"
"You know, dear, how I like a change. Remain on your
back, and I'll do it to you!"
So saying, my aunt straddled over Alfred, and taking Mimi
in her hand, plunged it into her, up to the hilt, then gently
moving she pushed on, stooping a little, and remained thus
spitted by the enormous spindle. She teased Alfred, blew him
kisses and showed him her adorable titties, smiling and pout-
ing at him all the time.
"Tis I who have you now," she said; "you are my little
wife. See how well I do it!"
After a few instants of this dalliance, it was easy to see
the supreme moment was reached. She fell upon her lover,
who received her in his arms, and pressed her to him, as he
took hold of the white cheeks of her bottom one in each
hand. Pleasure seized them together, then Bertha left his
embrace and again lazily stretched herself at her lover's side.
It was late. I was crushed with fatigue, emotion, and the
cramped position I occupied, yet I would not go before I
knew if the amorous couple meant to arrange another appoint-
ment. I had the satisfaction to hear them fix a rendezvous for
the next evening at the same hour.
I regained my room and went to bed tired out, but I slept
soundly. I woke about seven o'clock perfectly refreshed. I
conned over carefully in my mind all I had seen and heard the
day before; my imagination became inflamed, my bosom
panted, an active fire coursed through my veins. Mechanically,
I took up a position on my back, as I had seen my aunt do;
then I drew up my chemise, as Monsieur B. had done to her.
I alternatively touched each breast, and the nipples swelled
up, then feeling my body I reached the delicate spot, and
rummaged there with great curiosity. It seemed to me that a
slight change had taken place. The lips of the little nook were
plumper; I sought the place that in my aunt's case had greedily
swallowed up the monstrous machine, but I only found a
little hole that my finger could not penetrate without pain. I
pushed up my finger a little, when an indescribable sensation
invaded my entire being. I rubbed softly first, then quicker,
afterwards slower, and again with more activity as I repeated
my aunt's words —"I spend ... Ah! I'm coming ... I come ...
At length a nervous spasm overtook me. I felt transported
with immense pleasure that I could fully appreciate, as I did
not faint away this time. When I had gathered my scattered
senses, I drew away my wet hand, and rising dressed myself
and went downstairs, fresh and happy at having enjoyed such
a sweet morning's diversion.
I shall not speak of the events of the day, which was an
uninteresting one, as I am in haste to come to the scene of the
evening. I took the same precautions, and had safely reached
my observatory when Bertha and her lover met once more.
The preliminaries were much about the same, but instead of
going to bed afterwards, Bertha said: "I have a whim, dear.
Let us do it like the other morning in the closet. We are more
comfortable here, and it will be nicer still!"
With these words she divested herself of her gown, pulled
up her shift behind, and placing a big cushion in front of the
mirror of the wardrobe, she knelt upon it, her head and arms
much lower than her buttocks, which, thrown out and de-
veloped by this ravishing position, presented the path of
pleasure well in view and largely open.
Alfred, far from idle, had made his preparations. He had
taken off his jacket and placed the lamp on the floor, so as to
light up perfectly the delicious picture that the looking glass
reflected in every detail. Then he placed himself behind her,
and began to get into her.
"Oh, you can see too much of me!" said my aunt.
"How can I see too much of such beauties? Look in the
"Oh, no; it's too bad! ... Ah! .. . It's going into me! Stop
a little .. . What a fine fellow you are!"
"My adored one, how lovely you are! What admirable hips!
What an adorable —ARSE!"
"Oh! Alfred! What is that naughty word?"
"Don't be frightened, darling; lovers can say anything.
Those words, out of place in colder moments, add fresh relish
to the sweet mystery of love? You will soon say them too,
and understand their charm."
While he spoke he continued his movements. Bertha, in
silent enjoyment, said naught, but devoured with eager eyes
the scene in the glass. I was stupefied to hear her say to him a
minute later: "Do you love it so very much?"
"Why . .. my ..."
"Well... my . .. arse!"
"Ah, Bertha, how sweet you are to me. Oh, yes; I love it.
Your beautiful arse. I adore it!"
"Feel it then. It's yours —yours alone. My arse — arse —
Oh,... my . .. arse, my arse!"
As she concluded her broken utterances, she let herself go
till she reached complete enjoyment. Alfred, who was rapidly
arriving at the height of sovereign pleasure, reached the de-
sired goal with her, and fell upon her completely overcome.
Their interview went no further than that delicious en-
counter; they could not fix a fresh meeting as they feared the
return of the maid, but they arranged certain signals, and, if
the worst should come to the worst, they made up their minds
to fall back upon the "pavilion" in the park. I went to my
room. Julie returned the next day, so that the nocturnal
assignations were put a stop to, but I sought to discover the
signs that were to have been exchanged between the lovers,
and much to my disappointment discovered nothing.
Four days went by in like manner. I was vexed, and had
once again renewed my morning walks, directing my steps
always to the closet in the grounds.
In the afternoon of the fourth day, I had gone into the
pavilion to do an occasion, when I was surprised to find there
a garden chair, that had evidently been brought from the
lawn. I concluded therefore, and rightly too, that something
would take place the next day, and I was at my post long be-
fore the arrival of the actors in the drama of love.
They approached with caution, one after the other, and shut
themselves in. Bertha sat upon the chair, saying: "Indeed you
did well to think of this piece of furniture, my attitude of the
other day was very disagreeable. But what are you doing on
"You know I must say 'how d'ye do' to my little com-
"Very well then; give him a kiss quickly, and let us do it.
is late. You shall sit on the chair, and I'll ride upon you!"
Effectively, Monsieur B. undid his trousers, and sat upon
the chair. Bertha pulled up all her petticoats and got on top of
her lover. She then seized his vigorous implement, and
commenced the introduction, by pushing down her bottom
as it slowly entered. I was so placed that I could enjoy the
sight from behind, and consequently could not miss the
slightest detail. The enormous tool soon disappeared com-
pletely. Bertha lifted up her legs, placed her heels on the bars
of the chair, and began to rise and fall in turn.
The accustomed sighs and words rose to their lips; their
souls melted in mutual enjoyment. I had intended, this time,
not to rest content with the part of simple spectator. I had
arranged in consequence and chose the most comfortable
possible position under the circumstances.
I began to do it to myself at the precise moment that
Bertha introduced M. Mimi, and then, regulating my move-
ments with theirs, operating slowly or quickly, I spent at the
same moment as they did, and my sighs of pleasure mingled
with those of the happy couple.
When all was over, Bertha quitted her post, and during her
movement I saw M. Mimi's head drop out of its retreat, and a
large quantity of that liquid, the cause of which I as yet ig-
nored, trickled along her thighs and fell to the ground. The
lovers readjusted their dress.
Monsieur B. communicated to Bertha two letters that he
had just received. The principal bar to their marriage existed
no longer. It was agreed that in three days time Monsieur B.
should make the official demand for her hand, and should
then leave to make all requisite preparation. They further
arranged to meet at the pavilion for the last time two days
later, in the morning. I went away, sadly, to the house. I was
to fall back once more into the dead calm of my life, but still
the hope of being soon married and tasting in my turn the
divine pleasures I had witnessed, sustained my spirits.
On the third day I was in my hiding place; Monsieur B.
came first, and Bertha a minute later. There seemed a slight
cloud on her beautiful countenance, nevertheless she threw
herself into her lover's arms, and he, after a few caresses,
tried to put his hand up her clothes, but she prevented him.
"No, no, dear; to-day is impossible! I am sorry, I assure
you, but you know, there are obstacles in the way. We must
put it off till you return."
"How unlucky for me."
"And how about me?"
"See; take hold of him. Look how he wants it!"
Monsieur B. drew his splendid instrument out of his
trousers. Bertha handled it, saying: "No, no; not without me!"
"But I entreat you!"
"You will have it? Well, I must not be selfish; but I assure
you that I am grieved to see such good stuff wasted. Come
along, M. Mimi, but you must not get into the habit of doing
it without your companion."
With these words, Bertha had turned up the sleeve of her
dressing-gown, Monsieur B. had dropped his trousers, and
lifted the tail of his shirt, as he stood up.
"No," said Bertha, "take your trousers right off, since I am
to have nothing, I will at least enjoy a good view."
Alfred did as she desired and gave himself up to her. She
placed herself a little behind him, put her left arm round her
lover's waist, and with the right began a soft movement of the
wrist that seemed to procure extraordinary pleasure to
Monsieur B., as she uncovered and covered by turns the head
"Ah! how finely you do it!" said he. "Gently, my angel.
Uncover him well. Now, quicker .. . stop! ... go on again!
Ah! I feel it coming! ... quicker ... I ... I spend ... I come!"
He gave two or three strokes of the loins, and Bertha, who
had carefully followed his instructions, pressed the instrument
higher in her hand, when, to my great stupefaction, I saw a jet
of white liquid spring out in jets and fall full three paces
the emission seeming to drive Monsieur B. mad with joy.
After a few moments Bertha wiped the implement herself
with her embroidered handkerchief, and put it back, saying:
"You are a naughty boy to have spent without me. I owe you
a grudge for this, and you shall pay for it at the first op-
I let them both go away, and when they were far off I
entered the pavilion, and closely examined the fresh traces of
the ejaculation I had witnessed. The sight inflamed my im-
agination, I pulled up my clothes and got astride the chair,
placing my hand on the seat, the middle finger upraised. I
pressed myself down upon it, found the little orifice, and imi-
tating Bertha's movements, as I stretched myself as widely
apart as possible, and working my bottom up and down, I
imagined I was taking in the coveted instrument.
A lively sense of pain did not stop me; I redoubled my
efforts and got in nearly half of my finger.
Then I repeated Bertha's words: "I'm coming ... I come ...
my arse!" till the spasm seized me, and I twisted my body
about in an agony of pleasure.
My hand and the chair bore marks of my enjoyment; I
hastily effaced all, and returned to the house.
In the course of the day Monsieur B. had an interview with
grandmother, and formally asked for my aunt's hand. All
was arranged, and he left for Paris to press on with the pre-
liminaries. It was decided that Bertha should remain with us
for a few days. I was to assist at her marriage as bridesmaid,
she took me away with her.
The ceremony was celebrated with pomp, and, for the
first time in my life, I figured at a grand ball, where I may
say without vanity that I met with true success. I should
have liked to have been present when bride and bride-
groom were put to bed, but my observatory was far away,
and I had to put up with solitary association in their pleas-
Three days afterwards Monsieur B. took me back to my
grandmother's, and went off to Italy with his wife.
End of the First Part
Behold me once more back on the monotony and dullness of
my early life, with my senses now quickened, and the knowl-
edge of pleasures, that my temperament required perhaps
much more than many women. I dreamed of nothing but
marriage, and Monsieur B. was my beau ideal of a husband.
I often made a visit to the pavilion in the park, as it con-
tained ineffaceable recollections, and I had left there the
chair, which often became the throne of solitary pleasure.
This means of relief was not only necessary, but I may say
indispensable, as true raging fits of love would sometimes
come over me, my eyes grew dim, there was a ringing in my
ears, my legs tottered beneath me, and simply by pressing my
thighs together I could feel that charming part that makes us
true women get wet and palpitating.
In those moments, no resistance was possible, I was
obliged to give way! My finger was my master; when I spent
fully once, I experienced a wholesome calm, and a delicious
languor overwhelmed me. I am convinced that without this
practice I should have fallen dangerously ill; happily I did
not do it too often, and it was really salutary for me.
Thus I attained my eighteenth year. I was truly beautiful,
and I will here trace my portrait, without any shift, and it
shall be an exact resemblance, without false shame or ri-
diculous self-praise. My stature was a little above medium
height; my hair was abundant, and of a fine, dark-chestnut
colour. My eyes, with long lashes, were hazel, brilliant, and
swimming with voluptuous moisture. My mouth, rather large
and very sensual, was furnished with fine teeth; a black mole,
on the right side of my upper lip, gave piquancy to my
physiognomy. I had an admirable bust, the breasts apart, firm
and well placed; my figure was neat and supple with volumi-
nous buttocks that were perfectly handsome; and the mount
of Venus, very much pronounced, protected a nook that it
appears was a rare and pure pattern, both in form and ex-
ceptional voluptuous quality. Without possessing the rare
bush of my aunt, I was well provided in that way, and by a
singular peculiarity the pretty fur continued much lower
down, by a silky growth of short moss, that shadowed with its
dark line the furrow separating the neighbouring twin globes.
How often, dear F., have you not placed me so as to enjoy
that view! What caresses! .. . How many kisses? But let me
Let me add, to finish the picture, that my hands were hand-
some though rather large, and my feet were small and arched.
With the feelings that devoured my being, was I not a morsel
for a king?
My grandmother felt her end approaching, and fearing for
my future tried to get me a husband without letting me know;
an old friend of hers made her a proposition one day that
seemed to suit her hopes and my dearest wishes.
M. de C. was introduced to us. He was twenty-eight years
old, of medium stature, very genteel in manner, with a
graceful bearing and regular features. His family was a good
one, and his fortune satisfactory. He did not present such a
manly appearance as Monsieur B., but as he was he pleased me,
and I secretly gave him my heart from the first moment. As
for him, he was dazzled by my beauty, and his mind was
made up directly he saw me, so that we were all agreed, and
the marriage being decided, we were united two months
afterwards. We resolved to pass a short time with granny,
and then depart for Z —, where my husband occupied a
post as------. Bertha came to assist at my wedding with her
husband, she was as pretty as ever, and quite as happy. I
told her my little secrets, and how I felt inclined to love
my husband with all my heart and soul. A single thing vexed
me, and that was that I found him rather cold and reserved,
although always affectionate and gallant. Bertha burst
out laughing, and assured me that all would soon change.
The important day arrived; she acted as my mother, and
dressed me herself. I felt the day get shorter and shorter with
unspeakable desire and fear. The act that I was about to ac-
complish, although well-known to me in theory, filled me with
The evening came to an end at last, and Bertha led me to the
nuptial chamber. It was her room, and on the bed where I had
seen her so bountifully treated I was to be made a woman.
Bertha put me to bed, and sat by my side to instruct me
with what in her idea I was profoundly ignorant of. She went
through her lesson with tact, but left nothing unexplained,
kissed me, recommended obedience, and went away.
A minute afterwards M. de C. came in, clothed only in a
dressing-gown. He drew near to me, kissed me heartily, said
some very affectionate things, took off his garment, and got
Charles, for that was his name, pressed me in his arms; the
contact of his naked flesh against mine made me jump! He
kissed me softly, telling me to fear not, and drew still closer.
I trembled all over, I dare not speak, and yet I desired to. He
whispered: "Would you like to have a little baby?" and at the
same time his right knee insinuated itself between my thighs,
so as to separate them. I resisted at first, then little by
I gave way, and soon Charles was on top of me, and I felt the
point of the much-coveted object.
This first contact acted upon me like a spark upon gun-
powder. All the warmth of my being was concentrated in the
besieged nook — I almost spent! Charles was awkward, he was
either too high or too low. I dare not move, I could not help
him! I was panting, and on fire! At last I felt him in the right
place —he pushed on vigorously; I felt a sharp pain, started
violently, and drew back, on the point of shrieking.
Charles, bewildered, asked my pardon, supplicated me to
have a little courage, and took up his post once more. I re-
mained still, and was even artful enough to creep into a better
position, decided to suffer everything. He pushed again, and
the pain came back, I resisted it, and shoved my body up to
meet the blows, so as to finish quicker. It seemed to me that
Charles did not act very vigorously, and that there was a great
difference in size between the instrument that perforated me
and that of Monsieur B., and, moreover, he did not speak, he
did not utter one of the words I had heard, which I believed
were part and parcel of the operation.
Charles, at last, seemed to gather a little strength, he gave
solid stroke of the loins, I did the same, stiffening my body;
the pain was so great that I cried out, but I had the
to feel myself penetrated, for the whole instrument was
sheathed within me! My husband continued his backward and
forward movement a moment, then shivered, sighed several
times, and stopped short. I felt a hot liquid inundate me and
diminish the smarting to a slight degree.
Charles got off and laid down by my side, visibly fatigued.
In spite of my desires and my imagination, I had felt no
pleasure. That did not astonish me, as I had been taught so
by Bertha. Charles kissed me, and wishing me good night
turned his back, and fell asleep.
I was very much surprised and quite embarrassed. I fully
expected we should begin again, and in spite of the pain was
quite ready to do so. At last I resigned myself to the inevi-
table, and slumbered too.
I awoke the next morning very late — I was alone. On hear-
ing the sudden movement I made in sitting up Charles came
out of the neighbouring room and approached me. He was
completely dressed already, and he kissed me on the forehead,
uttered a few kind words, and asked me if I had slept well; but
all this was cold and distant. My heart, ready to spring towards
him, stopped in its flight; it seemed to me that he should have
waited until I awoke, to take me in his arms, and speak of love
and happiness, and then recommence the caresses of the night.
I could guess that I should have answered his transports, and
that no fear of pain would have prevented me receiving him
again! At length a doubt for my future flashed across me, this
was not what I had dreamed! Charles went out, saying that he
left me to dress, but I had no thought of toilette, and I busied
myself in sad thoughts. A well-known loveable voice called
me, and Bertha ran to embrace me.
I put my arms round her neck, held her tightly, and began
"Gracious me! What is the matter, dear child?" she said.
I should not have known how to answer her, as I had no
complaint to make, I only felt that I was not loved as I had
hoped to be, and that my ardent furnace would never be able
to burn freely.
Bertha thought that I was simply hysterical, and calmed me
by gentle joking.
My natural gaiety soon got the upper hand; I rose and took
a bath that my maid had already prepared.
The day passed slowly, everybody was happy around me;
my husband seemed enchanted, he was as tender and gallant
as his nature would permit. I was pleased with him, and
timidly responded to his distant caresses. Night came; he led
me away at an early hour, and we went to bed. Less timid than
the night before, he took me in his arms, said that he loved
me, and kissed me tenderly. I made bold enough to tell him
that I also loved him, and gave him a kiss that electrified him.
Already I felt on my naked thigh something hard that prom-
As on the preceding evening he placed his lips to my ear,
and said: "Shall we do like last night?"
(Continued on page 171)
THE LONGING WOMAN
I very oft have thought why women
Vex'd with green sickness, or when teeming
Should long for plaister, coals, or chalk,
And pine if we their fancies baulk.
Yet these things are not amiss,
Nay, we should humour them in this.
But women, when they are with child,
Have sometimes longings far more wild,
As I shall shew you bye and bye,
If you'll with patience cast an eye
On what I write. A Yorkshire squire,
When years had left him little fire,
Did with a youthful wife engage,
To be the comfort of his age;
For he had threescore winters told;
But see th' almighty power of gold
He saw a neighbour's charming daughter,
And of her greedy parents sought her.
Her parents, by his riches blinded,
Their daughter's pleasure, little minded;
But Jenny view'd him with disdain,
And wept, but all her tears were vain.
They gravely told her it was folly
To whine and be thus melancholy;
They own'd, indeed, the Squire was old,
But he was bless'd with store of gold,
And they'd take care he should appoint her
A very comfortable jointure,
That would (when he lay in his tomb)
Soon bring a younger husband home.
At last poor Jenny gave consent
To do what she could not prevent,
So to the church they gravely went.
The parson ty'd them fast for life,
And Jenny was an old man's wife;
The squire had all the joy he wanted,
And all he ask'd his Jenny granted;
She answered all his bills at sight,
Whether at morning, noon, or night;
And very few demands he made,
And Jenny had but little trade;
But being young, and likewise fair,
She thought it folly to despair.
Fox-hunting was the squire's delight,
He seldom did return till night;
But while he thus his sport enjoy'd,
His wife was otherwise employ'd;
Tho' what she did I cannot tell,
At last the dame began to swell.
This to her spouse she did declare,
Who hoping strongly for an heir,
With tears of joy embrac'd the fair.
My dear, said he, my charming wife,
Thou joy, thou comfort of my life,
My heart is overwhelm'd with joy,
Pray heav'n the child may be a boy;
Be what it will, I here declare,
That it shall be my only heir;
At least, I'll have no other wife,
Tho' you should die, my dearest life,
Which heaven forbid; you're young, my dear,
And may live many and many a year.
Jenny, who was at first afraid,
She had so oft the squire betray'd,
Was highly pleas'd with what he said;
For she, who never thought amiss,
Knew well the child was none of his.
And now came on her longing fits;
She long'd at first for dainty bits;
The husband all things got with care,
In hopes to see the wish'd-for heir.
At last her longings grew so high,
She told her spouse she'd surely die,
Unless the parson would bestow
On her an inch of what you know.
My dear, her husband did reply,
Why this is flat adultery.
I know not what it is, said she,
But if you won't with this agree,
I'm sure I'll die this very night,
And never bring the babe to light;
If you had lov'd me at this pinch,
You had not grudg'd a single inch.
Away the doting husband went;
The pious parson was content,
And proud that ladies, in their grief,
Should send to him to bring relief,
The loving husband was at care,
In managing this nice affair;
And coming in, said to his wife,
The parson's come to save your life.
Tis very well, said she, my dear;
But when she saw the inch appear,
She cursed and swore that she was wrong'd;
It was not for that inch I long'd,
You stupid blockhead let me tell ye,
It was the inch that's next his belly.
The inhabitants round the different camps say —"The soldiers
have made everything 'alive.'" Many of the young females
say and lament the same.
A DEVILISH GOOD STORY
A farmer once lived in the land of Pope Figs,
On whom Satan thought proper to play off some rigs;
But then Satan was green, you must know,
For a bargain he made: that when harvest came round,
The farmer should have all the grain above ground,
And the Devil should have all below.
So the farm it was sown, and in due time it was reaped,
The farmer disposed of his crop, and he leaped
With joy, as he counted the tin;
Then the Devil he grubbed up the seeds in the soil,
And he found them all rotten — his share of the spoil
Had been dear at a quartern of gin!
Enraged, quoth Dan Satan, "Next year, my old love,
"You shall have all below, and I'll have all above;"
Quoth the farmer, —"Agreed," —(mighty civil,)
So he sowed all his fields full of carrots, not grain,
And at harvest he booked all the profits again,
And took a long "sight" at the Devil.
Then his Highness began to look blacker than black,
And, said he, "though I'm off, in a week I'll be back,
"And then, farmer, we'll have a 'set-to,'
"When, if claws are worth twopence, just look to your hide."
"I'll be happy to see you," the farmer replied;
And touching his castor — withdrew.
But, in spite of big words, he was frightened, because
He knew that his nails were no match for long claws,
Hoofs, horns, and a breath of blue flame;
So, in utter dismay, he fell scratching his crown;
When, scratching his horns reminded the clown,
To seek the advice of his dame.
The case being stated, the wife answered, "Pooh!
"I'll manage it for you; I'll soon get you through;
"Be cheered, my dear husband; be bold."
He felt cheered, and he gave her a kiss, chaste and kind,
If he did nothing more, you will please bear in mind,
That the dame was some sixty years old.
On the morning appointed Old Beelzebub came;
His heart full of wrath, and his mouth full of flame,
And he stamped and he roared like a brick.
So the dame popped her spouse through a little back door,
And laid herself down full length on the floor,
And so waited, to welcome Old Nick!
What a howl she set up at the demon's entree!
How she wreathed, and contorted, as prostrate she lay!
"What's the row?" quoth the Prince of the Air.
"Oh! Lord, can you catch him? Which way did he run?
"I'm ruined! I'm killed! —I shall die!—I'm undone!
"Oh! good Sir Devil! I pray you beware!
"Beware of my husband! He told me a match
"Had been made 'twixt you for a battle at scratch,
"And to try his vile talons he prayed
"That I'd just let him touch (here she fiddled her clothes)
"With the least of his fingers between my great toes,
"And, see —what a gash he has made!"
There's a tale that Miss Menkin (I think) said one season,
"I can't think to-night what the deuce is the reason,
"That my 'posing the pit so bewitches!
"They seem nearly mad!" —"Well," said Smith, "I'm afraid,
"You're hardly aware what to-night you've displayed,
"You have got a great slit in your breeches!"
What Miss Adah revealed, I can't venture to guess;
And, whoever the question more closely should press,
Most richly deserves to be coked;
But, 'twas something like something
the dame must have shewn,
For he'd scarcely espied it, when — uttering a groan,
"Oh! Lord!" quoth the Devil, and bolted.
THE ORIGIN OF HOKEY-POKEY
Once upon a time a facetious fellow for a wager undertook to
sell sh — t for sweetstuff in the street. Taking a hand-barrow,
he called out—"Here you are, Hokey-Pokey, a penny a
spoonful, the most delicious thing in the world, and sure to
make you speak the truth if you never did before!"
"Give us a spoonful!" said a curious man, opening his
mouth. "Ah! damn; sh — t, by God!" he exclaimed, as the
vendor accommodated him.
"I told you you'd speak the truth. Don't make a fuss, or
you'll drive away my customers!" replied the hawker!
ADVENTURES AND AMOURS
OF A BARMAID
A SERIES OF FACTS
(Continued from page 115)
At first only the dim outlines of two figures could be discerned
in the interior of the tent.
"Wait a moment," Mildred whispered to Polly. "Gypsies
always have a good light; no one would have his bride in the
dark on his wedding night."
The peepers kept very still, and presently Mildred whis-
pered again —"Zach is going to light up; you'll see him look
Miriam all over before he really has her for better or worse,
as your marriage service says."
The obscure figures now released themselves from a long
embrace, the female giving an audible sigh, which seemed to
give expression both to her amorous desires and timidity as
to what was coming. Striking a match the swarthy bridegroom
lighted up three candles, stuck in a common tin triangle sus-
pended from the centre of the tent, which was a rather large
one, set apart for the use of various members of the tribe on
such special occasions.
"Now strip thee, lass, and gie us a sight of thy juicy koont
afore I fook thee!" said Zach, imperatively. 'Thou's now all
mine or now't, as I find thee."
Setting her a good example, he threw off jacket, vest, and
breeks till he stood a dingy-looking Hercules in shirt and
stockings, the former of which seemed anything but a clean
wedding garment, looking a fair match in its unwashed tints
to his olive-coloured skin. She, too, was too dark for it to be
seen if her blushes betrayed the shock to her modesty which
the sight of his tremendous yard, the big purple head of
which jutted out beneath that dingy shirt.
"Tak't in thee hond gal, and feel how randy 'tis!" he said,
lifting up her smock the moment she stepped out of her
skirts, and the pair could then be seen standing side by side in
the full light of the candles, their lips glued together in a
sucking kiss, whilst each one's hands were busy caressing the
other's privates. She was a fine plump young woman of about
eighteen, with a mass of black hair falling loose over her
shoulders, but her lovely eyes were hidden by the closing
lids, as if afraid to look in his face, or see her fate in any
"Oh! you hurt me Zach; did you think I'd lost my maiden-
head?" she said, flinching from the insertion of his big middle
"Thou'll do; thou's right, my gal. Now kiss my p — k, and
swear to be true to it, and never take another as long as you
have me," he said.
She knelt down before him, and almost reverently imprinted
two or three ardent kisses on the object of her desires, swear-
ing the required oath in a peculiar kind of lingo quite im-
possible for Capias and Polly to understand, but they could
see he was tremendously excited, for, lifting the fine girl
fairly up in his brawny arms, he carried her to a heap of
blankets, &c, evidently laid over a soft bed of ferns and
heather, and falling upon it with her by his side his hands
opened her willing thighs, giving a delicious view of a black
bushy mount, with just a discernable vermillion slit at the
bottom of the swarthy belly. He was between those plump
thighs quicker than it takes to say so, and throwing his body
over her began to kiss her face and neck in the most passion-
ate manner, being too long in the body to do so to her heaving
bosom, which he caressed and moulded with one hand. The
girl seemed instinctively to open her thighs yet wider, as he
put the head of his tremendous cock to the small-looking
mark, opening the lips with his fingers till the head got in
about an inch. Her hands pressed his buttocks down with all
her force, and both seemed to quiver with emotion and spend
at this moment, as they then lay motionless for a few seconds,
till she gave his bottom a rare slap with one hand, and loudly
whispered — "Try again Zach, my love; you did make me feel
nice, as you spurted into me then; I shan't be so tight now!
Go on —go on —Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh!" as he gave a hard push,
sending his rammer in three or four inches, and then, before
she could recover from the agonising pain, thrust again and
again, clasping her fainting body (as she gave a piercing
scream and lost consciousness) with his muscular arms,
grinding his teeth in erotic rage, and behaving like an ana-
conda enfolding its victim, till his p — k was sheathed to the
roots of its hair, and dripping with her virgin blood at every
Polly and Capias were deliciously groping each other as
they looked through the peep holes, but at this moment a
loud burst of tambourines and rough music of all sorts arose
from the camp fire, followed by a jolly chorus —
"Hurrah, hurrah, for the bloody strife,
That ends by making man and wife;
Hurray, hurray, she's a maid no more,
But a f—g wife for evermore!"
This startled Polly and Capias from their total abstraction.
"Ha! Is it like that with you two?" said Mildred, in a
whisper. "I thought it would make you feel your feet again!"
as she glided off into the gloom, and left them to peep and
enjoy themselves all alone.
The noise and Zach's throbbing instrument in her tight
sheath had now roused Miriam to life, as well as action, for in
response to his movements she heaved up her rump and
writhed in a perfect state of erotic frenzy, calling him to
f—k her well, to shove all, all— balls and all —into her
c—-t, even biting his shoulder as she used all the bawdy ex-
pressions possible to think of. She was a demon at the game
now, once thoroughly aroused, and to judge by her sighs and
screams of delight was spending almost every few seconds,
till she fairly exhausted her husband, who rolled off her body
in spite of all endeavours to keep him on the go, and lay
fairly vanquished beneath his rampant bride, who at once in
triumph straddled over him, and transfixed his still stiff pego
in her insatiable chink, riding him with all her might, till
an oath at her randiness he threw her off, and declined any
more of it for a while.
Thus ended the episode of the gypsy camp, and our
heroine with her legal friend regained their coach and con-
tinued the journey to town, whilst he related to her a tale of
the seduction of two sisters, which by the assistance of a
reading lamp he read from a piece of paper taken out of his
"How very useful and contributary to seduction young
milliners may be made, but in that and other instances we do
not mean to cast a general censure; we believe that, notwith-
standing a sort of lightness and frivolity, which are, perhaps,
too often attached to the name of milliners, there are many
respectable and amiable females who make that profession
the medium of independence; and if their honourable, and
right honourable customers, by paying their bills in a reason-
able time, or at any time, would permit, the means of fortune
"The species of milliners to which we particularly and de-
cidedly allude is that which in general consists of repudiated,
cast-off, and kept mistresses, and make little more of the
fession than finesse, and a gloss for the trade of seduction.
Often have we noticed the street scenes, the nocturnal orgies
of sensuality, the midnight immolations of female virtue,
which are made and celebrated behind the shop doors of a
'In a retired part of Devon lived upon a very small fortune,
Mr. Firman, a widower, a man of a sedentary disposition, fond
of study, and, having experienced much of adversity, rather at
discord than union with the world. He had been a Bristol
merchant, and was growing rich when it happened that his
six ships, together with most of their several living cargoes,
were all destroyed within twelve months, and their owner in
consequence declared a bankrupt.
"One was burned by a cask of spirits taking fire; another
was wrecked; a third foundered; and a fourth fell a sacrifice
to no less than three hundred Negroes, who in a frantic effort
for freedom set fire to the magazine, and blew themselves and
the whole crew up. What became of the other two was never
rightly understood. We mention the reason of Mr. Firman's
failure merely because he used afterwards to confess his mis-
fortune as just punishment for being concerned in such in-
"As companions of his retirement, as consolation to his
solitude, Mr. Firman had two daughters, Sophia and Eliza, and
a son, Frederick. The former were twins, about fourteen
years of age, very beautiful, and otherwise endowed by nature.
The latter, who had been left a small fortune by a maiden
aunt, was also a very amiable youth, and intended for the pro-
fession of the law. He was about seventeen, and under the
classical care of a clergyman at Exeter. Mr. Firman, though
doatedly fond of his girls, was determined to send them to
some respectable seminary of industry, and seeing a flourish-
ing advertisement in a London newspaper that two young
ladies were wanted by a milliner at the west end of the town,
immediately wrote to a friend, desiring him to make inquires
as to the terms, situation, and character of the advertisement.
The friend, without much attention to duty, made the busi-
ness as easy as possible. He saw a large house in a grand
neighbourhood, and was received by a smart woman, and to
his shallow capacity that appeared sufficient.
"Mr. Firman received a satisfactory answer; for his friend,
not only to prove his trouble, but his discernment, made the
most of the account, and promised great advantages from the
connection. The terms being reasonable, and the report being
thus satisfactory, Mr. Firman immediately wrote to his friend,
desiring him to conclude the business. His hopes were that
his daughters would not only be the companions to each other
during their apprenticeship, but that they would commence
business together; and that as they had some very near rela-
tions in the fashionable world, they would make a flourishing
fortune in a short time.
"As it would be tedious and melancholy to repeat the
preparations, and separation of a fond father and his darling
children, we shall pass over that series, and set the sisters
down in Jermyn Street, at the house of Mrs. Tiffany, where
one hundred and twenty guineas were paid as apprentice
fees, and where the friend attended to see the indentures
"The correspondence between Mr. Firman and his two
daughters was for some time regular and reciprocally affec-
tionate; but by degrees both punctuality and tenderness upon
the part of the latter declined; they were so hurried with
business, they were indisposed, or they were in the dull season
of the year, upon visits to Mrs. Tiffany's friends in the
in short, filial duty soon fell off entirely, and the poor old
man at length wrote until he was tired to no purpose; they
never corresponded but when they drew upon him for money
to purchase fine clothes, and that they did oftener than his
circumstances conveniently admitted of.
"It now became the time when the son was to leave
Devonshire in pursuit of his professional studies. He was
articled to a very eminent attorney in Gray's Inn, and had
letters of recommendation to several persons highly respected
in the law.
"Being settled, his first business was a visit to his
the good lady received him with much kindness, but the Miss
Firmans being a little way out of town, and not expected for
some days, he was invited to call again. He particularly
three young ladies in the house, highly dressed out and
painted, more like toy-shop dolls than as females connected
with the humble and respectable occupation of business.
"Firman, though but nineteen years of age, and only just
come from the most retired part of Devonshire, then formed
conclusions not very favourable to them; and from the ap-
pearance of the place entertained very strong forebodings of
his sisters' safety.
"Young Firman took his leave very much dissatisfied, but
concealing his suspicions promised to return in a few days,
and expressed a hope that by that time his sisters would be
arrived from the country.
"Among other letters it happened that young Firman had
one recommending him strongly to the son of a west country
baronet, who, to qualify him for the bar, or perhaps the bench
at Westminster Hall, was studying Paphian theology in
Lincoln's Inn. He lost no time in delivering his packet, and
as he was a very comely youth, and had a fashionable ap-
pearance, though innocent, young Mr. Thornback, the student,
thought he would not disgrace him; that his ignorance would
afford him subjects of merriment; and, in short, condescended
to ask him on the next day, which was Sunday, to accompany
him in his curricle to Windsor.
"On the road they became more intimate, and young
Thornback opened to him the intention of his journey, which
was to see a damned fine girl that he had in keeping in the
neighbourhood, who unluckily he had got with child, and
expected every moment would lie-in. Young Firman was too
much of a greenhorn to relish this sort of visit, and Thorn-
back observing him rather grave tried to cheer him by assuring
him that his favourite had a sister, another damned fine girl,
with whom he should sleep if he pleased that night, as she
was then upon a visit at his lodgings.
"This did not, however, dispel the gloom of young Firman.
A thousand thoughts of home, and of the new scenes into
which he was entering made him appear more and more
embarrassed; and they stopped at the gate-way of a very
handsome house in the outskirts of Windsor, before he could
recover himself sufficiently to make any coherent reply.
"They had no sooner alighted than a female servant,
with a melancholy way-worn face, informed the Squire that
her mistress was brought to bed with a fine boy, but added,
with a flood of tears, that its mother was no more! Thornback,
though a full-trained town buck of little feeling, was greatly
shocked at the information, and a tear was seen to steal down
his cheek, and on entering the parlour he threw himself in
an ecstasy of grief on the sofa. At that moment the ears of the
young Firman were assailed, and his soul rent with loud
lamentations proceeding from a female voice to which he had
been somewhat accustomed. "Where is he? Where is he?"
repeated the now well-known tongue. The door burst open,
and the then only surviving daughter of the unhappy Firman,
with hands extended, dishevelled hair, and distracted features,
threw herself upon the neck of young Thornback.
"Surprise, shame, grief, and distraction, all uniting in the
soul of the wretched brother, his emotions became too strong
for his nature, and he sunk senseless on the carpet. The maid
servants, who were the only persons in possession of them-
selves, assisted to raise him in a chair, and the noise and
confusion occasioned by his situation in a few moments
roused the sister —her transition was from grief to agony —
from agony to despair —upon beholding in the person of a
supposed stranger, whom she had not before noticed, that
of a beloved —and as she thought dying —brother!
"From that moment she became insensible to everything
around her —she became positively mad —and nothing but
cords prevented her from putting an end to her existence.
"A few words regarding Mrs. Tiffany. She had been
seduced at an early age by the assistance of a French milliner.
After several changes she was kept by a West India merchant,
from whom she obtained sufficient to take the house in
Jermyn Street, affected the business of a milliner, that she
might the more unsuspectedly carry on that of bawd and
"The two lovely Firmans were but six months in her house,
and not quite sixteen years old when they were prostituted —
one to a sharper and gambler for two hundred pounds, and
the other for five hundred pounds to an old debilitated
(Continued on page 198)
A PARLOUR SCENE-Time, 11 p.m.
No, sir, you must not —let me go!
I will not kiss —no! Please sir, no!
The window, too —ah! there's a screen —
What should I do if we were seen?
Keep your hand down. Oh! No, sir —no!
What nonsense sir, to tease me so.
I will not suffer you to see —
You're very rude. Ah!—Oh dear me!
Your finger hurts —take it away!
No, don't —what would my mother say
If she could see you thus employed?
My habit shirt you have destroyed —
Unpin it? There! you mustn't! Oh!
Don't press and pinch my bubbies so!
I'll raise the servants with my cries —
No, no, I won't. What? part my thighs?
I dare not, sir, I am a maid —
Oh, murder! Do not be afraid;
There's no one in. What did I say?
Don't, love! Oh, don't! You go away.
What means this finger downward pressing?
This toying, kissing, and caressing?
I cannot tell —I'd like to know —
O! go away! No, don't! Ah, no!
Take your hand down, let that suffice —
No, don't! That's it! My God, how nice!
My dress put down! Oh, fie for shame;
I won't take hold of—what's it's name?
Take it away! Oh my! how thick!
No, no! It won't go in the niche!
What! on the couch? Oh, no, I can't!
Open my thighs? I won't —I shan't!
You wrong me sir; you are mistaken;
I'm not so easily overtaken,
I will not! There! You'll soil the clothes.
Take off your shoes — can you suppose
I'll let you— take that thing away,
It hurts me! Oh how nice! Oh, pray,
Don't push it, please sir, any more,
Or else I'll cry —Oh! lock the door.
Oh, come now! Thrust!—ah!—oh! —so, so,
Make haste —you mus'nt, no, sir, no;
The couch's too soft; a cushion get;
There, that is nice —oh! sir, you're wet!
You shall not, why not push it straight —
Oh, don't; it's not yet in! Oh! wait —
Now push; now stop a little; so —
It's in! I die! oh, don't! Oh, do!
Slow — fast — quick — quicker — so — that's right —
I feel I'm swimming with delight —
Push on, dear boy —there —press it steady —
What! you're withdrawing it already?