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The Boudoir
No. 6



VOLUPTUOUS CONFESSIONS OF A
FRENCH LADY OF FASHION
[Translated from the French.}
PART II — Continued from page 183
I got so fond of this delicious method of procuring emission,
that hardly one of our interviews took place without F.
making me enjoy it.
I had alopted for this joy a favourite position. I would
recline in a large easy chair that I had purposely placed in
my boudoir, with my thighs open, and thrown over the arms
of the piece of furniture; my lover, on his knees before me,
did a delicious "minette," as he called this way of spending,
and when I wriggled and twisted in the paroxysm of pleasure,
pressing his head to my belly, gently pulling his hair and ears,
and slapping his cheeks, he would drag himself from my grasp,
plunge into my cunney, and, enlaced together as one, we
spent, till we almost lost our reason.
Sometimes, I would kneel on the sofa, and receive his
tonguing offering from behind, my lover glueing his face
between the cheeks of my bottom, and finding the delicate
spot that received him with joy.
One day, after a rather long separation, my dear F. was
able to find me alone. Alas! a monthly obstacle rendered
our usual pleasures impossible. I could see he was suffering
and looking at my hand in a supplicating way. I was quite
disposed to accord him this means of relief, when a mad idea
crossed my brain! I remembered the last scene between my
aunt and Monsieur B. in the "pavilion" of the park. The
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situation was identical, I wished to reproduce it in every detail
and easily induced F. to honour me. I made him get up, placed
him in the same position, and proceeded to do exactly the
same as Bertha. I even succeeded, as I distilled the pleasure,
to make my lover utter the same words as Monsieur B. He
spurted out his dew afar, and I gathered the last few pearls in
my handkerchief.
When he had done, I could not help laughing.
He asked me the cause of my merriment.
"Nothing," I answered thoughtlessly, "it reminded me
of something,"
I saw his face change, and quickly guessed the mistake I
had just made and what suspicions were gathering in the mind
of my lover. Not wishing at any risk to cause him the least
shade of vexation, I made him sit close to me, and sure of
his discretion I told him all that had happened to me before
marriage. The story amused him greatly; he made me enter
into the most minute details . . . When I told him how I
was led on to procure sweet pleasure for myself, he ex-
claimed: "Ah, darling! what would not I have given to see you
FRIG your delicious little CUNT?"
He asked me a lot more questions about my solitary habits,
and I went so far as to tell him that on the day of our interview
at Madame D.s, I was so full of thought of him that I had done
it that very evening.
"By Jove," he answered, "this is truly curious! Confidence
in return for confidence, dear angel, to know that the same
night and probably at the same hour, we were exchanging our
souls in mutual spending!"
"What do you mean?"
"Listen. I went home, madly in love with you, I wanted
you directly I had seen you. I could not yet believe that
I should be happy enough to possess you, but all my efforts
tended to that desired end. I went to bed and thought
only of you! I was in a fearful state,... you can guess how!
I put out my light, and, conjuring up your image, covered
your face with imaginary kisses. Then I did what you were
doing, and the pleasure was so great that I am sure we
emitted at one and the same time ..."
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"What! Can men frig themselves, as we do?"
"Certainly. Why should this natural means of relief be
denied to them? What your pretty hand has just done for me,
my ugly paw performed for my solitary gratification."
"Really? Well, I should like to see that!"
"Nonsense! Do you want me to ..."
"Yes. You must show me how you do it?"
"But you know very well how. I do it like you . . ."
"Oh, I pray you! Grant me this little pleasure!"
So saying, I disclosed his instrument, which excited by
our conversation had once more shot up in its most splendid
condition. I took his hand and placed it upon it.
"No, really, this is rank folly!"
"No, sir!"
"But I would sooner have your fingers, or your beautiful
bubbies, if you will only lend them to me."
"But me no buts! I command you to make haste and do
it to the very end, or I will no longer love you."
My dear lover could refuse me nothing, and after a little
more hesitation he said: "I consent, but on condition that you
in your turn shall give me as soon as feasible a representation
of your girlish pleasures."
"To that I consent, but do what I want at once!"
He began, and leaning over him, I followed his convulsive
shaking with a singular feeling of pleasurable curiosity. I soon
took pity on him, however, and unlacing my stays I knelt
down before him, and made him finish between my breasts.
Shortly after this caprice of mine, my dear F. had his
revenge upon me. He reminded me of the promise I had
made, and despite a certain amount of shame, I stretched
myself on the sofa, and prepared to satisfy him.
"No, not like that," said he. "You placed me as you liked;
let me do the same."
"What do you mean?"
"You shall soon see; get astride of that chair."
I obeyed.
"Yes, that will do nicely. Now show me your little CUNT,
and FRIG yourself with your left hand."
Again I obeyed, wondering greatly.
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During this exercise F. unhooked my dress body and
stripped me to the waist. I now wanted to spend fearfully. My
lascivious instincts began to blaze. The operation that I had
begun jokingly to perform, only to please him, had become
serious in the extreme, when I felt that F. was behind me,
with his trousers down, and pressing the upper part of my
body, in a state of nature, to him, had insinuated his organ
under my right arm. The originality of this fantastical idea
inflamed my imagination more than ever. I bent my head, and
avidly contemplated the beautiful tool, the head of which
appeared and disappeared at each stroke of my dear lover,
who kept his eyes fixed on my left hand, that was frigging
away for dear life.
Soon we mingled our rites, we warned each other that the
end was nigh and our double discharge took place simul-
taneously!
A few delicious months went by in like manner!
Our love increased daily, instead of becoming feeble or
worn out by the frequency, the subtlety and the complete
liberty of our connection! The precautions we so carefully
took assured us perfect secrecy, and once only, we were al-
most caught in the act.
We thought that we were certain not to be interrupted, as
my husband was away from home and all the servants out.
After a chat and a few caresses, I had, by a well-known sign,
made my lover aware of what I wanted. He placed me as he
desired, my body reclining in the large easy chair, my legs
stretched asunder, and he had begun his adorable, lecherous
licking.
I was just about to spend in his mouth! My eyes were closed
and I was wrapped up in my enjoyment, tasting every one of
the thousand delicious sensations that his tongue conjured up,
when suddenly we heard footsteps and voices in the adjoining
room. Quick as lightning, we were on our feet at once, our
dress arranged, and seated at a proper distance.
My maid, who had returned without my knowledge, opened
the door, and announced the visit of a lady of our town.
1 felt terribly giddy, but the cool presence of my lover, who
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knew the lady, gave me time to collect my scattered senses.
We were saved!
End of the Second Part
PART III
It was summer, I was to go and take the waters at a village a
little distant from my residence, and I feared the moment
that would momentarily separate me from F.
My lover was in despair, but this journey was necessary and
my husband wished me to go; he could not accompany me, as
his occupations kept him at Z----, but he was to visit me
frequently and came to me as soon as possible. It would have
been too imprudent to receive F. when quite alone there.
I went off very downcast and passed the first moments at
my new dwelling in absolute privacy.
My husband came to see me at the end of a week and told
me that he should bring with him next time F. and two other
friends, to spend a day. That hope sustained me, I awaited the
blessed moment with feverish anxiety.
At last, ten days later, I received a letter announcing that the
journey was fixed for the morrow.
Starting the night before, the gentlemen arrived at four
o'clock in the morning, and my husband came at once and got
into bed with me.
I soon saw that absence had awakened his rare longings, and
although I expected to be bountifully feasted by my adored
F., I must here confess that I willingly lent myself to Charles's
desires.
I clasped him to my arms, slipped my hand under his night-
shirt, and taking hold of his member gently frigged it for a few
minutes, and, when I had shook it into a most glorious state
of erection, I myself popped it into my slit.
Charles did it better than usual, and confessed that the
caresses of my hand afforded him the most vivacious sensa-
tions of pleasure. I have often used the manual exercise with
him since and whenever he asked me.
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We slept till eight o'clock.
We breakfasted at a restaurant in the town with the gentle-
men; the meal was good and we were all very gay, my dear
F. brimming over with wit and good spirits. Our eyes only
spoke, but how we understood their language! He seemed to
say: "When can we meet?"
My husband, involuntarily, fixed our assignation.
He proposed a scamper in the woods when the heat of the
day should abate, and said that after having seen me home he
would go and sleep at an hotel and so work off the fatigue of
the preceding night's journey.
F. said that during that time he would make a few visits to
some old friends, and the other gentlemen went off to visit
the springs.
A glance at my lover and all was understood.
At one o'clock in the afternoon my husband was snoring at
the hotel and F. had slipped into my room. Knowing his taste,
my hair was carefully arranged, I had put on pink silk stock-
ings and low, neat, high-heeled shoes. I only had a slight
dressing-gown thrown over my shoulders, and I awaited his
coming with delirious impatience. As soon as he appeared,
I hung myself round his neck and kissed and bit him.
"At last, I've got you, my angel, my love! How I wanted
you! Let me devour you!" said I, as I locked the door and drew
him towards me.
"Come to my arms! Fifteen days without you. I shall die,
I'm sure. Oh! how I've suffered!"
"And I've been just as badly off, darling. We have but little
time to spare, let us make the most of it. Suppose we are inter-
rupted?"
"I am yours. Do with me as you will."
As I finished speaking, my gown was on the ground, my
lover, undressed, sat me on the edge of the bed, and put two
pillows behind me. He uncovered my titties, that he felt and
sucked for some time, then pulling up my chemise he went
on his knees and applied his burning lips to the fiery nook that
welcomed the caress with a spasm of happiness.
"Ah, darling," I said. "Ah! ... I'm spending already ... it's
coming . .. again ... Oh, what delight... enough ... you'll
216


kill me .. . give me your beautiful COCK now! ... I want to
feel your PRICK inside me ... come into my CUNT ... come
and FUCK me!"
F. then rose, lifted my legs over his arms, and began to rake
me. Softly, reposing, I looked down at the sweet introduction
with languishing eyes.
"Do it slowly," said I, "make it last... Ah, it is so nice! ...
I can feel it penetrating me ... it fills me .. . Ah! .. . ah! ...
Fm dying ... stop a little ... ah! .. . I'm spending . .. I'm
coming... I spend!"
"And so do I ... Ah! ... I can't keep up ... any longer...
my darling! ... my FUCKSTRESS ... I... I spend . .. take it
all... take all my spunk!"
I almost fainted, but I was not yet satisfied, my love had
sunk down upon me, I encircled his head with my arms and
glued my mouth to his.
"Ah," said I, in a whisper, "you spent too quickly."
"I could not help it; but don't move now!"
"What are you going to do?"
"You see, I'm still inside."
"But I'm all wet!"
"No matter, I mean to FUCK you again without withdraw-
ing."
"That isn't possible!"
"You'll see. What adorable bubbies you've got, darling.
Give me your tongue. That's right. Move your dear arse up
and down gently. I'm waking up again. Do you feel it?"
"Yes. It's getting stiff again. Ah! I can't bear it; I must
spend again. Push on once more. Quicker. Ah. I'm going
mad. I die. I'm so giddy. I'm spending again .. . I've come.
I'm fucking. I'm still spending. Are you ready?"
"Yes. It's coming. .. there! I spend. Oh, God!"
A second discharge mingled itself with the first flood; for
some time we both remained helpless, and at last F., dropping
his hold of my legs, drew out, and a veritable deluge of the
extract of love came pattering down on the floor.
I rose and took my lover to my heart.
"Ah! my adored one," said I, "what a splendid exploit!
How happy you make me! I've never spent so much in my
217


life! I was coming all the time without a second of interrup-
tion."
We were obliged to remove all trace of our prodigious
struggles. My thighs and belly were literally covered with the
sweet fluid. I had no dressing room, but dared not remain in
such a state. I got my washhand basin, and making F. turn his
back began my ablutions.
My love, far from obeying, did not miss a movement, he
took hold of me, with my petticoats still pulled up, and kissed
and mumbled me as he said: "I must fuck you again."
"Oh, no, please. You'll be ill!"
"But see, he's up again."
The sight completed my madness, I fell on my knees, seized
the beautiful rubicund head between my lips, engulphed it in
my mouth, and sucked it with raging delirium.
Suddenly, I heard a noise in the passage. I rose with a
bound, rushed to the door, and looked through the keyhole.
If it was my husband, we were lost. Happily, I was mistaken.
I sighed to F. that there was naught to fear. In this position,
with my eye fixed to the lock, my buttocks were exposed, and
my shift was all tucked up. In a twinkling, my lover was be-
hind me, and before I had time to collect myself, I was pene-
trated again, filled up by that adorable instrument that seemed
to know no rest. Ah! How I helped him by opening and shut-
ting the cheeks of my backside ... by writhing, twisting, and
swooning with joy.
Our time had passed quickly. In haste, I sent away my
lover, made the bed afresh, and arranged a neat toilette for the
promenade. I was scarcely ready when the carriage drove up,
and my husband came to fetch me. He found me flushed and
lively, I answered that, overcome by the heat, I had fallen
asleep.
We went downstairs, and I was joyfully saluted by the
gentlemen, who complimented me on the novelty and good
taste of my costume. On the sly, I looked at F., but nothing
happily betrayed that anything extraordinary had taken place.
We started off.
The forest we were exploring was deliciously cool and
picturesque; we went to the lodge of a game-keeper, where a
218


slight rustic repast had been prepared. Our collation was
merrily enjoyed, I was forced to drink several glasses of
champagne, although I did not require that to stimulate me.
After the meal we set out walking again, my husband gos-
siped with F. I was with them. The two guests had strolled
into another path when we arrived at a wild spot, studded with
rocks, and shaded with large trees.
At this moment one of the gentlemen, who were far off,
called out to my husband: "Come, quick, come and see!"
Charles ran away and left us. Directly he had disappeared
from view, F. glued his mouth to mine.
"Angel," said he, "let us profit by this moment!"
"You are mad!"
"No, I love you, let me do as I will."
"My God, we shall be discovered! I am lost!"
"Not if you hurry. Stoop!"
"Are you in?"
"Here I am. It's going in!"
"Ah! make haste. I tremble!"
"There, darling. .. spend . .. spend again!"
"Ah! I've come! Now go away."
"Oh! Go."
Only just in time. My petticoats, all up behind, were barely
readjusted, when I heard the rest of the party returning.
I went to meet them, and we found they had fetched us to
see a swarm of bees captured from the top of a tree.
We got into our carriages and returned to the town. We
danced at night at the Pump-rooms, and then said farewell to
the gentlemen, who went away early the next morning, but
my husband stopped with me.
It is easy to guess my thoughts when at home once more, I
began to undress for the night. I was brushing my hair in front
of my looking-glass, and my husband, delighted with the day's
outing, was very gay and tender.
I was in my shift, that clung tightly to my figure behind, and
showed the seductive shape of my backside. I could see in the
glass that Charles was looking at it, and that his eyes sparkled.
"Aha!" said I to myself, "can it be possible that for once in a
way he will be able to do it to me twice in the same day?"
219


I wanted him to make me and coquettishly struck an attitude
that threw out into still greater relief what I knew was one of
my greatest beauties; then, negligently putting one foot on a
chair, taking care that my chemise should be more raised than
was absolutely necessary, I undid my garter.
This play succeeded. Charles, also in his shirt, got up, and
coming near me kissed me on the neck, and put his hand be-
tween the cheeks of my bottom.
"Oh! oh!" said I, turning round and returning his kiss,
"whatever ails you to-night?"
"My dear wife, I find that you are extremely handsome!"
"Am I not the same every day?"
"Oh, yes; but this evening still more so!"
"Well, what are you driving at?— come!"
So saying, I put my hand on his instrument, that stood a
little, although far from being in a proper state of erection.
"You see that you can't do anything!"
"Oh, yes, I can! Prithee caress him a little bit!"
"What makes you so excited?"
"Why, his .. . his . .."
"Well now —what?"
"Your beautiful bottom!"
"Indeed, sir. Well, you shan't see any more of it!"
As supple as a kitten, I trussed up my linen with one hand,
so that my posteriors were naked, while my front parts were
reflected in the mirror; at the same time my other hand had
not loosened its grasp, and cleverly excited what it held. I
soon had the satisfaction to feel it get hard. Wishing to profit
by his momentary desire, I made Charles sit and got striding
over him, but I soon found that such a position stretched me
too much, and, widening the particular part, was quite un-
suited for his thin tool.
I got up, and had to begin all over again ... I was too
excited to be baulked, and once more started the caress of my
agile hand. I resolved to do my best, and he helped, so that
soon I was pleased to see it once more in its most splendid
state! Then I drew a chair to the glass, placed one foot upon
it and the other on the ground, and put it in from behind.
Charles, led on by me till he was almost beside himself, did
220


it in such a manner that I spent three times. He was a long
while, but nevertheless finished by discharging, thanks to the
clever movements of my buttocks and the talent I had acquired
in pressing and pinching his wretched little tool.
Both very much fatigued, we retired to rest. Thus, in this
memorable day, I had been poked six times! I do not exag-
gerate in saying that I had spent more than twenty times!
But such was the force of my temperament and my aptitude
for amorous combat, that I rose the next day from my couch
as fresh and as well as if nothing had occurred.
I went back to Z —, and F. and I relapsed into our sweet
habits once more, which, alas! though frequently interrupted,
grew more ardent after each successive deprivation.
My husband now rarely went away for more than one day at
a'time, so that our pleasures only lasted during the short
instants smuggled of an afternoon, nevertheless, a few in-
dispensable journeys took place, and we profited by them.
One evening, happy in a few hours of security, we de-
termined to completely enjoy our happiness; my love pro-
posed that we should undress and get on my bed. I accepted
with avidity. He was soon stripped to his shirt and laid on his
back, while I unlaced my stays. I joined him with only my
chemise and my stockings. He seized me in his arms, we were
clasped together with rage! My lover soon got zealous of the
slight gauzy garment that still covered me and tore it off,
notwithstanding a slight resistance on my part.
He first contemplated my entire nakedness with ecstasy,
then covered my entire body with burning kisses, without
omitting one single spot!
I was mad, delirious! In turn I wished, to reproduce for him
the pleasure I had felt. I too kissed with ardour every part of
that body, so manly and so handsome. At a certain place,
arriving at that darling jewel that proudly, stiffly stood, I
stopped and kissed it; I sucked it; I should have liked to have
ate it all up!
In this position my buttocks were turned towards my
lover's face, I could feel that he had seized my left thigh, and
was trying to pass it over him.
"What do you want?" said I, turning my head a little.
221


"Put your legs over me."
"But how?.. . Why?"
'Til soon tell you. There, that will do!"
I found myself astride his breast, my head still in the same
place!
"Now," said he, "bend down, push out your lovely ARSE ...
there ... now place your little CUNT on my mouth."
"Here I am!"
"Good. Now let us both do minette. Tell me in time, and
we'll spend together!"
Although rather puzzled at this new method, I gracefully
gave way to him, and soon I felt a clever and delicate tongue
travel over my cleft. I went off into a mad rage, I once more
took hold of the instrument, that I had let go for a moment,
got the entire head into my mouth, and pumped at it with
frenzy! An electric current seemed to envelope my entire
frame, each stroke of F.'s tongue was answered by my mouth!
... What delirious joy! ... I had already spent thrice, when
feeling that the fourth time was nigh, and that my lover, shud-
dering and palpitating, was reaching the supreme moment, I
exclaimed: "I am ready! Spend, darling, spend in my mouth!"
What happened then?... I know not! ... I lost conscious-
ness beneath the burning jet!
#                  #                  #
My lover's adorable lessons had rendered me very knowing,
I thought I had no more to learn. I was mistaken, there was
one supreme lesson left for me to learn.
I have often repeated that my buttocks, or rather my ARSE,
was of rare beauty. The furrow that divided the oval had al-
ready received thousands and thousands of my lover's kisses,
whose greatest delight was to place me so as to enjoy this
spectacle thoroughly. He would then open the lips of the gap
of love, caress it, kiss it, and worship it in every manner.
Sometimes his finger would wander higher up, and I could feel
a strange titillation at the opening of the secret orifice above!
Sometimes, even when plugged up to the roots, fainting be-
neath the divine dew that was spouted into me, I felt the
finger penetrate far up the narrow path!
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That singular caress caused me quite a peculiar erotic joy
that I had not sought to analyse.
On one of the rare evenings when we were able to get be-
tween the sheets, after having felt each other all over for some
time, my lover took off my chemise and looked lovingly at my
nakedness.
Knowing his passionate love for my arse, I presented it to
him, ducking my head and stretching myself as wide open as I
could. F. got up behind me, but instead of getting into my
cunt as usual he contented himself with rubbing the head of
his Priapus against me.
"Put it in!" cried I, "you are teasing me dreadfully!"
"Wait a bit!"
"What are you doing? You hurt me. Not there!"
And indeed, I felt the point trying to penetrate the singular
aperture I have just mentioned.
"Let me do as I please, my adored one! I entreat you. A
loveable woman is cunt all over, no single part of your beauti-
ful body must remain virgin to my offering!"
"But 'tis impossible! It can never go in!"
"Oh, yes, I can get it entirely in if you will let me."
"But you'll kill me. I shall suffer. I shall shriek, I shan't
spend at all."
"Yes, you will, and afterwards you'll say yourself how nice it
was. I'll wager that you will often ask me to do it."
"No, 'tis impossible. Come, darling, put it in lower down,
it's just as nice for you!"
"But I supplicate you to let me do it. It's the greatest proof
of love that a woman can give. I demand that proof."
"Oh, heaven! I can't refuse you. Go along then and do it.
How funny all the same."
I said no more, and remained passive, presenting as well as I
could what was required of me. My lover went to the toilet-
table and lubricated himself with a stick of cosmetic, then,
taking up his position again, he once more knocked at the
narrow gate. His first attempts did not succeed; I suffered and
felt no pleasure at all, but I loved him so much that I could
have suffered greater agonies still. And, besides, my curiosity
223


and a desire for the unknown sustained me. My lover ceased
his efforts an instant, and, passing his hand between my thighs,
began to frig me. Symptoms of pleasure now arose, and I my-
self begged for a second trial, but my lover's leaning posture
was too uncomfortable. He took my hand and placed it where
his had toyed. I understood him, and rubbed away myself.
Again I felt the terrible point — the pleasure in front neutralised
the agony that my poor arse still felt.
At last, I felt as if an enormous ring was dilated within me,
and suddenly the monstrous cylinder slipped in in its en-
tirety. I quickened the movement of my hand. An immense ...
twofold . . . sharp . . . extraordinary spending spasm over-
powered me. I almost fainted and fell forward in an in-
describable nervous fit.
My lover, luckily, had not been unhorsed; he followed my
movement and laid his full length upon me. He gave a few
more strokes, and filled his strange shelter with a hot ejacula-
tion, that he spurted forth with many groans and sighs, to
bear witness to his lively pleasure.
We remained some time in this position without speaking. I
felt a certain shame that I could not explain, and was almost
vexed at having spent so well by the ravishing of that unusual
nook. On the other hand I could not prevent myself being
delighted by the opening of this new source of pleasure.
F. kissed me and whispered: "Well, what do you think of it?"
"I hardly know."
"Did you spend?"
"Well, yes!"
"Are you vexed at having submitted to my whim?"
"No."
"Will you ever ask me to do it again?"
"I think I shall, but not often; it is too exciting —too awfully
good!"
During our chat, the position remained unchanged, my
lover's peg was still planted in my tiny hole, I felt it diminish-
ing, he tried to withdraw. I pinched in my buttocks, so that
willy-nilly I kept him at his post.
"You wanted to get in," said I to myself, "and there you
shall stop!"
224


I relied on his well-tried strength, and while I waited for it
to return I teased him, and used all the words he had taught
me.
"How do you call this style of fucking?" said I. "You have
not touched the poor little cunt that has had nothing this
time."
"It's called ... but never mind, well call it mignonner. That's
a pretty word, isn't it? and goes well with rnimtte."
"Well darling, mignonne me again, I begin to like it. Ah! I
can feel your nice prick reviving; treat kindly this ARSE you
love so much . .. Don't go away yet, I beg of you. I want your
spendings once more."
As I rattled out all these little bawdy words, that I knew
electrified my lover, I loosened the tightness of my buttocks
gradually, so as to leave him full liberty of action.
I began to feel again the advance symptoms of that double
pleasure I had just felt, my lover was not yet quite ready, I
seemed to feel him get weak, I told him not to leave me, and
we rose again with infinite care to our first posture.
"Now, my darling," said I, "don't move. I'll do it all myself!"
I began to wriggle my rump carefully backwards and for-
wards. My lover, on his knees, as still as a statue, was pas-
sionately contemplating this libidinous sight. He could see,
as he told me afterwards, his arrow, held as though in a vice,
appear almost entirely, and then be completely lost to view
in its harrow quiver.
After a few minutes of this delicious fun, my lover had
recovered his pristine vigour. I could tell that by the grow-
ing thickness and stiffness of the member that bound our
bodies together. I soon felt him shiver; broken utterances
issued from his lips. I let him know that I was ready, and a
fresh jet of spunk caused us both to swoon away with joy.
#                   #                   #
My well-beloved F. was right. I grew to like it! How many
times has he not said with his soft voice, as he leans over
me: "Where will you have it?"
And how often have I not pointed to my bottom, with my
finger, and answered: "There!"
FINIS
225


THE THREE CHUMS:
A TALE OF
LONDON EVERYDAY LIFE
(Continued from page 195)
CHAPTER VIII
A Lark on the Queen's Birthday -
The Illumination Night
Four o'clock, a.m., of a glorious sunny morning, as Charlie
Warner opened his eyes to find himself lying in Fanny's arms,
almost naked on his bed, the covering having evidently
slipped off onto the floor during the amorous play of the
preceding night; they were fast embraced, or rather locked
together, his prick as stiff as possible, throbbing against the
soft ivory skin of his companion's person, the curly hair of
their organs of love mingling together in the close conjunc-
tion of their bodies.
Fanny's lips were slightly open, displaying a lovely set of
small pearly teeth whilst her arms ever and anon clasped his
form with a light nervous tremour, as if she was still dreaming
of the delights of the past night.
"She f—d me as dry as a stick, last night," soliloquised
Charlie, "yet I feel brimming over with spunk again, and ready
to spend over her navel."
"Wake up, Fanny, my love!" he softly whispered, putting
two of his fingers into her still damp slit, and rubbing gently
on her excited clitoris. "Wake up, sleeping beauty, I must
have one quick. See how stiff he is. Look at your darling. Don't
you know that this is the Queen's birthday, 24th May, 18 —
and, in honour of her Majesty, 1 mean to f—k as many girls
as I can to-day, at least between now and to-morrow morning,
and I mean to begin with you."
"You randy fellow, do you think I will oblige you after such
a speech as that?" laughed Fanny, as she woke with a start.
"I can't help myself this minute, because I've been dreaming
226


of you all night. You seemed always in me, spending and
spending till I seemed actually dissolving in love, and then
you wake me up with a reference to having other girls during
the day. Still I can't refuse this delicious morsel just now, but
it will be different when you come home to-night, after your
day's whoring. I shall look at you with disgust then."
"Oh, put it into me quick!" she ejaculated with a sigh,
opening her legs, to receive the object of her desire.
It was a short hot affair, as most first f— ks in the morning
are, when the blood is heated from wine, champagne, &c,
imbibed over night.
He stroked her twice, to Fanny's infinite satisfaction, be-
fore he withdrew from the tight folds of her deliciously warm
c — t.
Then they slept till nearly six o'clock, when Fanny had to
get up for her daily work.
Our friend Charlie indulged in another two hours' snooze,
till he was awakened by the sensation of feeling his p -— k
sucked by a delightfully warm mouth, and found Mrs. Letsam,
his landlady, indulging in one of her erotic suckings, which
usually gave him so much pleasure, and on this occasion the
thought that she was cleaning his pego of all the dried-up
spendings that Fanny had left on it, so excited his fancy that
he came in a perfect frenzy of emission, till the spunk fairly
frothed in her mouth and oozed from its corners, as she raven-
ously tried to swallow every drop.
After breakfast, Charlie again racked off Fanny's juice on
the sofa, and then started to call upon Clara, in her little house
at St. John's Wood.
Only Lena was at home with Clara, but they were over-
joyed to see him so brimfull of spirits, and his p — k, as soon
as he got into their company, was as rampant as ever.
The two girls were having a light breakfast, as they sat in
their dressing gowns, fresh from the matutinal cold bath,
their cheeks rosy with youthful health, stimulated by the cold
douche, which, with the hard rubbing they had given each
other, had roused all the warmth of their blood, till they were
in that state of voluptuous readiness, so fit for the reception of
a fine young fellow like Charlie.
227


Each pretty girl tipped him the velvet end of her tongue,
as he kissed their cherry lips, Lena saying: "How nice of you
to call so early, Mr. Warner; it is just in time to give each of us
one of them,' before we go out for a drive round Regent's
Park. Don't you know a f—k is truly delicious to a girl in the
morning, just after she has had her cold bath, when she is all
aglow, and the blood tingles through her veins from head to
foot?"
"A cup of coffee, and then — " said Clara, pouring out one
for their visitor.
"Without milk or sugar, if you please," replied Charlie. "I
shall get all that as I gamahuche you both, and suck up your
spendings."
Impatient for another go in, he soon led them into the bed-
room, where there was a delicious and soft cool air from the
open window of a small conservatory, which communicated
with Clara's chambre a coucher.
They were soon as naked as Cupids, and Charlie, making
them lean back on the bed, sucked each c-—t in turn, till
they writhed and spent on his active tongue, as its ravishing
touches then rolled round their lascivious clitorises.
"This is Clara's house, so she is entitled to have the first
put-in," said Lena, "and you shall suck as much honey as you
can from my little buttercup fanny, whilst you f—-k her."
"We'll show you a new position, Charlie dear," added Clara,
as she extended herself on the bed. "Get between my legs
and as soon as you are in —yes, that's it; now throw your left
leg up over my loins, and put your right under my right leg,
and then lay your body away from me, fork fashion, and
gamahuche Lena, as she sits up and presents her fanny to
your lips; isn't it awfully nice? Your cock goes into the exact
corner of my q — m, and touches the very entrance to my
womb! Ah, ah! Oh, oh! You do make me spend. I can't help
it. Go on quicker, dear boy! Ah, Lena, it drives me mad. He
seems to make me melt all over."
Charlie, on his part, was in ecstasies, and his delighted
p — k was so sensitive to the clinging grip of Clara's las-
civious fanny, that he was compelled to cry out he could not
bear it any longer, as his hot spunk spurted into her c — t.
228


Lena was so randy that she took possession of Charlie's
p — k the instant he withdrew, and, doubling her knees up
towards her face, threw her legs over his shoulder, as he
rammed it into her longing gap, whilst Clara lovingly kissed,
sucked, and tongued his balls, bottom, and buttocks from
behind, her busy fingers doing their best by handling his
impetuous shaft, as it worked in and out of that foaming
c — t, which was literally overflowing with their thick
creamy emissions.
He kept himself back for a final spend, and so drew out
the length of that glorious f—k, that Lena craved in her un-
satisfied lust, and fixed her teeth in his shoulders, till her
lips were crimsoned in his blood.
Clara, the while, frigged herself with one hand, and at the
finish, they rolled over together in a perfect fury of amorous
frenzy.
After this, Charlie dressed himself, placed two sovereigns
on the dressing table, although the dear girls protested they
would not take his money as he had pleased them so, then,
taking leave of them as they still lay on the bed, rang the bell
for the servant to show him out.
Emma, the servant, was a pretty little brunette, about
eighteen, and as the saying is, "fresh c — t, fresh courage,"
Charlie put half-a-crown in her hand, as he kissed her behind
the door, and whispered, "My dear, I should just like to
f— k you. You shall have half-a-sov if you run down and let
me in at the area door, as I pretend to go out down the
front steps."
Without speaking, she returned the kiss, and shut the door
sharply behind him, so running down to the area, he was
presently in the arms of another sweet randy girl.
His p — k stood in a moment,- as he lifted her on to the
kitchen table, and put his hands up her clothes, their lips
meeting in luscious kisses and tongueings.
Emma was quite as hot as her mistress, and f—-k'd with
all the abandon of a true little whore, till he gave her c — t
a warm douche of the elixir of life.
Her eyes were shut, and her head rested on his shoulder,
as she whispered, "Oh, give me another before you go; it
229


was such a beautiful f—k. I don't often get a treat like that.
Oh, do, do! There's a dear!"
Luckily for him, just then, the upstairs bell rang, and he was
able to effect a hasty retreat up the area steps.
Taking a cab, he called on his cousins to arrange for the
evening, after which he returned to his own rooms, and rested
the remainder of the day.
About 10 p.m. found our three chums, arm in arm, elbowing
their way down Regent Street, where the crowd became
denser every moment, and at places was quite impassable,
where the illuminations were more splendid than ordinary.
The groping for c—-ks and c — ts seemed the proper
thing to do; everyone in the crowd seemed to understand
that, and the three friends had immense fun with a modest
old lady and her daughter, who, although awfully indignant,
were perfectly helpless, and were so teased and handled that
they sighed and spent with desire, in spite of the shame that
they felt.
Next a large closed furniture removal van which they
were jammed against attracted their attention. It had port-
holes, like a ship, along the sides, and was lighted up inside.
Charlie mounted on one of the wheels, till he could peep
inside, and found two old swells and several girls, nearly as
naked as they could be, sporting their q — ms to amuse the
old fellows, who had each got one of the nymphs of the pave-
ment to frig him.
"Hullo!" shouted Charlie, forcing in the round glass,
which acted on a pivot. "Don't you want some real f—k—g
in there? We've got three good stiff p — ks out here, if
you'll let us in."
"Eh! Egad! It wouldn't be amiss," said one of the old
gents. "Let's have them in for a lark."
It was a matter of the greatest difficulty to effect an entrance
by getting round to the rear of the van, and squeezing
through the partially opened door.
"You look proper sparks," said one of their entertainers,
opening a bottle of fizz. "Just a wet, by way of introduction,
then the girls will soon take the stand out of you. Have you
had some good gropes among the crowd?"
230


"Just what we wanted! They're three beauties," exclaimed
the girls, as they brought out the stiff p — ks of Charlie,
Harry, and Frank.
There were six girls in all, and the three chums had all their
work to do to give a f— k to each girl in turn. This, however,
they did, much to the delight of the two jolly old cockolorums,
who handled their fine firm pegos with unbounded delight,
postillioning their bottoms, and licking their fingers with the
greatest of gusto, after they had thrust them into the reek-
ing q — ms of the girls, to see how the f—k — g was go-
ing on.
One of their hosts, in particular was ravenous to gamahuche
and lick up all the spending from the swimming c — ts after
each go in.
Little notice was taken of the illuminations as the lumbering
van slowly forged its way through the surging crowd, which
little suspected the lascivious orgie being enacted inside the
sober looking van.
For three hours the game was kept up with spirit, till the
three friends were so tired out, and overcome by the lots of
champagne they had taken, that, when at length the van was
driven into the grounds of a private house and stopped
before the hall door, they were too stupid even to put on their
clothes, and along with the girls were carried into the house
by two or three flunkeys, who deposited the dissipated crew
on some ottomans and sofas in a large and brilliantly lighted
saloon.
Charlie was not quite so drunk but he had a dim recollec-
tion of curious liberties which the old gents took with his
naked person, and for a day or two afterwards Frank and
Harry as well as himself confessed to feeling rather stretched
and sore, as if their rear virginity had been ravished when
they were helpless to prevent what they afterwards felt quite
disgusted at.
But it is anticipating the course of events. About five in the
morning our hero quite recovered himself, and, waking from
the short deep drunken sleep, found the sun streaming in
through a window, so drawing aside the light lace curtains he
found it looked onto a beautiful croquet ground surrounded
231


by parterres of splendid flowers, and screened on every side
by dense foliage of shrubs and trees.
Turning to the apartment, the two old gentlemen were
fast asleep in armchairs, each with his trousers down, and a
naked girl resting her head on his thigh, side by side with
the languid p — k, which she had been in the act of gama-
huching when they were all overcome by sleep.
Frank and Harry were lying mixed up with the other four
girls on a very large and splendid catskin rug, all naked, form-
ing a charming tableau, as the golden rays of the sun glanced
on the warm flesh tints.
Just then a lovely young lady, wrapped in a dressing gown
peeped into the room and Charlie, all naked as he was,
bounded across from the window to meet her, but she
putting her finger to her lips, signalled him to follow her as she
withdrew from the room. He crossed the vestibule close be-
hind her into a magnificent boudoir, the door was locked, and
she threw herself into his arms, exclaiming "at least, I am sure
you are not one of the filthy unnatural fellows my uncles
usually bring here, I have not the least doubt you three have
been tricked, made tipsy and outraged by them! Oh pity me,
for I am a prisoner in this house — they have cheated me out
of my father's immense fortune— and made me their lady
housekeeper, where, just because I can't help myself, and the
hope of some day succeeding to what they have cheated me
out of, I have to shut my eyes and pretend not to see their
horrible goings on, and even sometimes myself submit to
their unnatural whims in my own person, without ever
getting from them the satisfaction which a warm female nature
requires. My case is like that of the lady you read of in the
Arabian Nights, who although the jealous Genie kept her
locked in a glass box, yet managed now and then to get a
fresh lover, but very few suitable youths come to this house,
they are mostly those debased men-women who prostitute
themselves for money. Only four times in three years, have
I had the delight to welcome to my boudoir such a one as I
could surrender myself to. Do you know why you awoke
first? It is because, when I looked over the lustful group asleep
after their beastly orgie, you charmed my eye, so scattering
232


some drops of a very somniferous essence over all the others,
I applied reviving salts, &c, to your nostrils, and here you
are my prize. We're safe for several hours! she concluded,
opening her dressing gown and throwing her lovely naked
form upon his equally nude figure.
Receiving her in his arms, his p — k as rampant as ever
(how could it be otherwise when thus challenged by such a
lovely creature), taking her in his embrace, he carried her a
few steps till she fell back upon a soft, wide couch.
Her delicate hand had already taken possession of his
throbbing staff, and now at once applied its head to her burn-
ing notch, which was literally brimming over from a luscious
anticipatory emission.
Drawing him upon her, her legs enlaced over his buttocks,
she heaved up her bottom in enraptured delight, as the
shaft slowly entered the well lubricated, yet tight sheath.
Then they paused for a moment or two, billing and kiss-
ing, tongue to tongue, as both evidently thoroughly enjoyed
the sense of possession that they imparted to each other by
mutual throbs and contractions, till, giving a long-drawn deep
sigh of desire, she challenged him by her motions to ride on
and complete her happiness.
Charlie literally trembled from excess of emotion, and the
rapidity with which this bewildering and luscious adventure
had fallen upon him. Her first few moves made him spend
before he wished to, and in spite of his unsatisfied desires,
his pego at once lost its stiffness, to the great chagrin of the
lovers.
"Ah, I understand," she exclaimed; "it is over-excitement,
after the enervating debauch of last night. Wait a moment, my
dear, and we will soon be happy enough!"
Saying which, she ran to a cabinet for some Eau de Cologne,
sprinkling a few drops over his excited face, then, pouring
the rest of the bottle into a small china bowl with water, she
sponged his limp p — k with it, then dried it on a soft hand-
kerchief, and then kissed, sucked, and caressed the manly
jewel with such marvellous endearment that she soon had
him standing again in all his glory of ruby head and ivory shaft,
the sight of which seemed quite to ravish her senses, for she
233


threw herself on the sofa, and begged he would at once let
her have the only thing that could possibly assuage her
raging lasciviousness.
"Ah, I'm afraid you'll think me awfully lewd!" she sighed,
blushing more crimson than ever.
This charming appeal was irresistible; he now charged her
foaming fanny with such effect that she raved in ecstasies of
delight, biting and kissing him by turns in her voluptuous
frenzy, twisting, squirming her body, and throwing first over
his loins, and then stiffening out straight in the dying ecstasies
of spending, his p — k all the while revelling in the warmth
and extraordinary lubricity of the tight grasping sheath, which
held it so passionately that it stiffened more and more from
excessive lust, that when he came it was quite a painful
acme of delight. The tip of his pego was so tender that he
positively could not bear the loving, sucking contractions of
her womb, as it drank up every drop, which spurted up to
her very heart.
After a while they renewed these delights, and kept it up,
till prudence dictated his return to the saloon, where the
sleepers were still unawakened; so Charlie, dressing himself,
aroused Frank and Harry and assisted them to dress, then
slipping away for a moment to his unknown inamorata took
a loving leave, and by her advice they left the house leaving
the two old gentlemen and the girls to wonder what had
become of them whenever they might rouse themselves up.
It was almost 5 o'clock in the afternoon when our hero
took leave of his cousins in Gower Street, sending them home
to sleep off the effects of the long debauch; whilst he also
made the mental resolve, to let this be the very last orgie for
along while to come, and content himself with the love of his
little slavey, and the occasional erotic osculations of Mrs. Let-
sam, soliloquising to himself, as after a cup of tea, he lay on
his own sofa, I mean to study and rise in my profession, so
this of my sprees shall be ...
THE END
234


THE FATHER
A Tale
Avaro liv'd a private life,
And starv'd in bondage with his wife.
Did she too starve? To him, at least,
So matters seem'd; but she knew best:
For she was plump, historians say,
And look'd as blithesome as the day;
But that, Avaro understood,
Was from her temper, not her food.
One son they had, but never more,
Children, thought he, make people poor:
And virtue dwells in self-denial,
So I'll abstain from farther trial.
Whether the lady thought the same,
Or not, is nothing to my theme.
The marriage articles which said
Madam should always have her maid,
Were kept from Susan down to Nan,
Till Dick begun to grow a man.
Dick was the son we just now mention'd;
Who, grown a man, inform'd the wench on't;
The wench grew fond, as Dick grew bolder,
And was convinc'd of what he told her.
A lucky girl may grant a favour,
Yet keep her character for ever;
But luck was little of Nan's side;
Her failing grew too big to hide.
She wept, she sobb'd was almost wild:
What shall we do about the child?
Poor youth! thy ruin it will be:
And I! what must become of me?
Caught in this sad dilemma, Dick
(Whose faculties were sharp and quick)
235


Concluded thus to save their bacon,
In father's net it must be taken:
Nan, you can swear a lie for once;
You know, the 'Squire is but a dunce:
At worst, his Worship may be wrought on;
Leave that to me (quoth Nan), well thought on.
Dick whispers it about the parish;
God knows the cause, but Nan looks queerish;
I vow my father don't grow young;
This was enough, the story rung;
A country servant big with beam,
Is thought a popular concern:
So Nan was quickly apprehended,
Son, father, mother, all attended.
Before the Justice now we find her,
Dick prompting all the while behind her;
His Worship (influenced before)
Cries, hussy who made you a whore?
My master, says the quean, and took
The usual oath upon the book.
hat swore the slut? Avaro cries
(And lifted up his hands and eyes),
My wife can prove my long unfitness! —
Villain (quoth she), call me to witness!
Yes, lecher, I can answer this;
I've now and then a slabbering kiss;
That's all, these twenty years and more;
The rest, it seems, was for your whore.
Condemn'd on evidence so plain,
Avaro urg'd his age in vain:
A child not his, a jealous wife,
Were now the comforts of his life:
And may such comforts ever be
The fruit of such frugality!
236


ADVENTURES AND AMOURS
OF A BARMAID
A SERIES OF FACTS
(Continued from page 206)
About ten o'clock Lord Rodney was announced, and shown
into the drawing room, where Polly, Bessie, and their land-
lady awaited his arrival.
"Strangers first," said his lordship, kissing Polly in the
most amorous fashion, tipping the velvet tip of his lascivious
tongue into her mouth as he did so.
"Look at the man, what a whoremonger he is, I can't have
a modest girl in my house but he takes the most impudent
liberties with her," exclaimed Mrs. Swipes. "How dare you,
sir, thrust your wicked tongue into Miss Polly's mouth like
that?"
"Mind your own business, you old b----h," retorted his
lordship, a fine handsome young fellow of about eight and
twenty, "or I won't lend Bessie my dildoe to f—k you
with presently."
Supper was pleasant but soon over, and his lordship,
who had sat beside Polly all the while, making her caress his
p — k under the table, arose from his seat with a yawn.
"Who'll take the horn out of me?" he exclaimed, "or will
you give way to Miss Polly," he asked Bessie.
"With the greatest of pleasure," she answered, "only I
mean to touch you up with the rod, so as to make you gallop,
and not tease her with one of your lazy f—ks."
All three helped to disrobe Polly, who was soon as naked as
Eve when first presented to Adam, and they opened the
folding doors into a bedroom, where she was laid down on
the outside of the quilt, blushing and quivering with excite-
ment as Lord Rodney, equally reduced to a state of nudity,
got between her legs, and lay over her with his stiff machine
throbbing against her belly.
"Look at his laziness," said Bessie, "he isn't even going to
237


get into her when he knows she is dying for a good rogering
— only wait a moment till I get my things off."
This was quickly done, and taking up a good thick bunch
of birch, she let him have it hard on his brawny rump. It
took a good many cuts ere he would begin to do his duty,
but the effects were plainly visible on his pego, which stiffened
and swelled immensely, till Polly, impatient for him to begin,
took hold of it herself, and directing the fiery head to her
burning slit, it very soon began to slip in, she was so well
oiled by the anticipatory spendings she had not been able to
restrain.
Miss Jones handled her bum-tickler with vigour, scien-
tifically applying the twigs so that they not only cut well into
his lordship's buttocks, but every now and then the tips of the
twigs caught him well in between the tender inner surface
of his thighs, touching up the rough hairy back part of his
balls, and even inflicting little stinging touches on the lips
of Polly's fanny, making her and his lordship writhe about
and f—k away with a perfect abandon of amorousness,
till the sheets were saturated under her bottom by the pro-
fusion of mingled spunk which oozed from her c — t at every
thrust of his pego.
Now Bessie dropped the birch and, taking a huge dildoe
from a drawer in the dressing table, fitted it onto herself,
and proceeded to f-—k Mrs. Swipes, who threw up her
clothes and took in the big india-rubber instrument with
the greatest of pleasure, as she reclined backwards on a sofa.
"Look, Rodney," exclaimed Bessie, "you can f—k me
dog fashion, as I give the old bawd the pleasure she is so
fond of!"
Thus challenged his lordship withdrew his still rampant
and reeking p — k from Polly's quim, and told her to pay
his backside for the insult; then, getting behind Bessie, he
clasped his arms round her loins, till he could frig her in
front by getting his fingers under the straps of the dildoe,
his well oiled p — k slipping into her longing c—-t from
behind.
As for Polly this conjunction, and her still unsatisfied
desires, made her so randy, that like a cow which wants the
238


bull she clasped his arse in the same way he had Bessie,
rubbing her spending c — t on his backside, and frigging his
prick in front with her hands as it poked in and out of Bessie.
After this bout his lordship was fain to confess himself
quite used up, but fortunately for our heroine, whom the
scene had left in a state of raging unsatisfied desire, a late
visitor to the house introduced as a friend, a real prince
from the west coast of Africa, and they persuaded her to
have him for a bed-fellow for the night. He was a real prince,
and champion of love between the sheets, his tremendous
pego was so untiring in its exertions that next morning at
breakfast where they all met again, the landlady asked Polly,
who looked a little blase, "if she still felt to want any more
f—king."
"Good God, no!" ejaculated poor Polly, "his monster of?
p—-k hasn't left a drop of spend in me, and he was coming
again and again all night, and even just now would have
another put in to give an appetite for breakfast; besides, what
do you think? his p — k is the blackest part about him, and
it did make me love him so. White men are not in it with
such a prince of f—-kers as he is."
Mrs. Swipes expressing her desire to just for once feel
such a champion in her, King Cuntaboo was only too glad to
oblige her, and Bessie afterwards, when he saw how her eyes
glistened at the sight of his coal-black battering ram.
Lord Rodney and the other gentleman very much enjoyed
the scene, handling his p — k and putting it in for them, his
lordship making some very learned remarks on the capability
of the female organ to accommodate itself to the biggest
p — ks, as he saw how easily the women managed to take in
all King Cuntaboo could give, notwithstanding its enormous
size.
Mr. Verney did not appear a bit jealous, but, finding our
Polly so well supplied with gallants, his visits gradually became
more and more rare, till at length finding she was quite ca-
pable of taking care of herself, he kept away altogether.
She was such a favourite that in a few months she saved
enough money to furnish a house for herself, and was so
clever in her profession, as well as select in her circle, that
239


she became one of the most fashionable and expensive bits
about town. Noted for the extraordinary versatility of her
ideas, every visitor to her cosmopolitan boudoir went away
delighted.
An incident in the experience of the erst barmaid will fitly
conclude this tale of her amorous adventures.
Taking a walk early one summer's morning she entered
Kensington Gardens and sat down by herself on a chair in a
rather secluded spot, closing her eyes as various pleasant
reveries floated before her vision.
"What a lovely leg! Alas! Get thee hence, Satan!" she
heard ejaculated in low trembling tones, and suddenly
opening her eyes, fixed them on an elderly gentleman, whom
she at once recognized as a particularly pious Earl.
"Excuse me, young lady, I really thought you were asleep;
may I present you with a little tract, it will show what dan-
gerous temptations we men are subject to from the attitudes
or coquettish dress of the pretty girls of the present day —
do read it!"
She held out her hand and glanced her eye over its contents
— as follows:
"Young women, your dress is often the creator of your
thoughts and feelings. When modesty has presided at your
toilette, the looks of men have neither the boldness nor the
fire of desire. Kept within the limits of discretion and respect,
they do not offer to your imagination the always tempting
image of pleasure —and your sensibility remains in a calm,
favourable to your virtue. A dress, calculated to inflame the
passions of men, produces a contrary effect. Their counte-
nances tell you soon what you ought not to be told. Why do
you blush if you do not understand their language? How
could you blush if that language did not force in your heart
a sentiment it is not decent for you to indulge? When you
are in a dishabille, that half conceals and half discovers your
charms, you generally avoid the company of men. Is it virtue
or fear that makes you so cautious? It is fear! You are con-
scious that, in those circumstances, men have over your virtue
an advantage, of which all your prudence might not deprive
them. Should Nature happen to be silent, vanity would speak,
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and bring the same rapturous confusion into your heads.
The transports of a lover are so flattering—his admiration is
so eloquent a praise of our charms —there is such a life in
his looks and actions —we are, in our hearts, so inclined to
let him praise and admire. Young women, I say it again, sip
not in the intoxicating cup, turn your sight from it, in your
flight only you can find your safety."
Her face flushed with indignation.
"Now, sir, where's one of the park-keepers? I intend to give
you in charge for an indecent assault —you whoremongering,
religious hypocrite. Now, which will you do, be locked up,
or come with me to my house, where for a £20 note you
shall have such pleasure as you seem quite unacquainted
with."
His face turned white and red, and his knees fairly shook
under him, as he stammered —"The sight of your leg quite
upset me. I am so sorry if that tract has offended you; you
must excuse me, I wouldn't be seen in your company; my
reputation would be blasted for ever."
Then turning to go, but Polly almost brought him on his
marrowbones, as she seized him by the arm, and hissed in
his ear —"Where you go, I go —is it to be the police station
or to my house? Expect no pity or respect for a hypocrite's
reputation —what do I care for that after your gratuitous
insult!"
The poor old man was lost, and making the best of a bad
situation, elected, as a sensible man would do, to go along with
the beautiful whore.
So finding him submissive she told him he could hold his
handkerchief to his face if ashamed to be seen walking arm
and arm with her.
They walked out of the park, and hailing a cab were soon
driven to her pretty little house, but not before the pres-
sures of her electrical fingers had already raised a cock-stand
for the old man, who sighed and protested in vain against
such wickedness.
However, Earl Goodman sensibly recovered himself as
soon as the retreat of love was reached, and he felt safe from
observation in Polly's elegant and luxurious boudoir. It
241


was amusing to her to watch the variations of his face as
picking up a decidedly naughty book he eagerly scanned its
contents, at first his withered face flushed a little, then his
eyes fairly started from his head, and she could actually see
his old cock stiffening again in his trousers.
"That is the kind of book to warm up your blood," said
Polly. "You seem to relish that kind of literature, my lord?"
"Humph! Awfully disgusting! How such ideas could be
evoked from the human brain I can't understand —it's ruin
to body and soul to read such suggestive filth!"
"There's no filth in the Bible you pretend to love so, is
there?" asked Polly. "But how about Lot, Abraham, David
and Bathsheba, Rachel, or Tamar, who played the harlot
with Judah, Solomon and all his wives — besides, you know as
well as I do, bawdy books don't drive religious people mad,
or out of their minds in any way; used properly they act as
a stimulant to the natural pleasures of love!"
Here she gave a quiet double ring, and a very young girl,
hardly yet twelve years of age, presently entered as naked as
she was born (not even yet fledged on her fanny) carrying a
bottle of fizz and glasses on a tray.
"Oh! Satan! God help me! Not a drop, let me get out of
this den of temptation. I'll write a cheque for the £20 —do
let me go!" as he noticed quite a stern smile on Polly's face.
"Another insult, my lord —call Saunders and Ruth," said
Polly, turning to the girl —"they will know what is wanted."
Earl Goodman fairly shook with fear, and trembled with
fright as the cook and housemaid, entering their mistress's
apartment, seized him like a child, and tearing down his
trousers regularly spread-eagled him on a sofa.
"What are you going to do? Oh! heavens, she's going to
birch me."
"That I am, and two gentlemen will see it all from behind a
screen. When your impudent backside has smarted enough
I will accept your apologies and the cheque —but not for a
paltry £20, mind —I don't birch an Earl for less than half-a-
hundred."
He whined and begged for mercy, fairly screaming every
now and then as the twigs cut into his tough skinny buttocks.
242


Polly was too clever, and enjoyed her profitable joke so much
that she fairly wealed his rump, till the small drops of blood
stood like beads on the broken skin; one of the girls was
frigging him all the time till he spent under the extraordinary
excitements he was so unused to.
At length Polly made him kneel in front of her, kiss the
worn-out rod, and promise never to offend a lady again by
offering objectionable tracts, and also to call and see her now
and then on the quiet.
"My balance is awfully low; the late May meetings at
Exeter Hall have quite drained my resources, and rents
are so difficult to get in," he almost groaned, as taking out
her desk she made him write a cheque on a blank sheet
of note paper with a penny stamp.
"Thanks," said Polly, "I'll take a cab and cash it as soon
as you're gone."
"Oh! pray don't go for it yourself, you might be known;
send in some friend to the bank whilst you wait outside.
Didn't you observe that I filled it up as if for the 'Midnight
Missions,' as a blind?"
"Well," said Polly, with a smile, "you are a dear good old
man in your way, and I will humour you about that, but I
must say you have made a miserable use of a long life with
good health never to have enjoyed as you ought to have done
the pleasures of love —you shall have such a taste of it now
as I am sure will bring you back here before long."
"You said your resources were drained, my little girl shall
see what she can do for you. He's in his second childhood,
Sissey, so give him some titty, whilst Ruth gamahuches
him into a rise."
His lordship had arranged his clothes before writing the
cheque, but made no resistance to Ruth and Sissey as they
drew off his trousers, vest, &c, till he was left in his shirt
and stockings.
Sissey was quite naked, so she reclined on the sofa, and,
taking his head in her arms, presented to his eager mouth one
of her lovely small round plump bubbies, the firm strawberry
nipple of which was indeed a morsel to tempt a hermit. She
made him raise his shirt, &c, so that her warm belly pressed
243


against his hairy bosom as he lay between her legs which were
amorously entwined round his body.
This position left her bottom a little above his cock, which
Ruth, kneeling down by the side of the sofa, took in her
mouth, and titillated with the tip of her lascivious tongue.
This lascivious attack on his virtue overcame him at once,
so yielding himself up to the excitement he could not avoid,
one of his hands clasped and pressed the young, firm, warm
flesh of Sissey's bum, or groped a finger into her hairless slit,
whilst the other pressed and stroked the head of pretty Ruth,
as she was giving him such exquisite pleasure with her tongue;
how he sucked at Sissey's bosom, his mouth watering, and his
p — k gradually swelling till in a few minutes it rose a per-
fect monster to what it had looked before, and Ruth showed
it in triumph to her mistress as she continued to softly frig
it with her hand, whilst her tongue continued to titillate the
entrance to the urethra.
"Don't you think its too big for Sissey, shall I let him
have me?" asked Ruth of Polly, evidently longing to enjoy
the fruits of her labours.
"No," said her mistress, "place it to her crack, she'll manage
it, then take my ivory dildoe out of the warm water, and
f— k yourself with it, as you sit in front of his face,"
No sooner did Ruth present the head of his machine to
Sissey's crack than the lecherous little whore slipped herself
down upon it, and assisted by his lordship's eager fingers
succeeded in wriggling it all into herself, as she managed to
slip under him and get him fairly on top in the orthodox
position.
The old man was fairly carried away by his lustful feelings,
and aided by the sight of Ruth working the ivory dildoe in
front of him, and Polly's hands behind, as they handled his
buttocks and postillioned his fundament— he groaned with
pleasureable anguish, he had never been in such a tight little
c-—t before, or felt such warm nippings on his pego, which
seemed to grow larger and larger every moment, as it grew
under the watering of Sissey's spendings.
It was too much for the old man when the final crisis came
on him once more, he fainted from the excess of his enjoy-
244


ment, and it almost took them all they knew to bring him
round.
As a finish to this tale of Miss Polly's amours, it may be
said that Earl Goodman, although very careful to preserve
his reputation, often called to give her a cheque for the
"Midnight Mission," and she actually got a little spooney
on his grand old p — k, which she said was such a delightful
f— k when once fairly got in working order.
FINIS
ON A LADY'S WEDDING
ON THE 21ST OF DECEMBER
Return'd from the Op'ra, as lately I sat,
IndifFrently chatting of this thing and that,
My Lady I ask'd, how it enter'd her head,
To fix on St. Thomas', of all days, to wed?
To which she replied, with reason the strongest,
'Tho' shortest the day is —the night, sir, is longest!"
 
THE DOCTORS
You maidens, and wives, and young widows rejoice,
Declare your thanksgiving with heart and with voice;
Since waters were waters, I boldly dare say,
There ne'er was such cause for a thanksgiving day;
For from London town,
Are lately come down,
Four able physicians that never wore gown:
Their physic is pleasant, their dose it is large,
And you may be cur'd without danger or charge.
No bolus or vomit, no potion or pill,
Which sometimes do cure, but oft'ner do kill,
245


Your taste or your stomach need never displease,
If you'll be advised but by one of these;
They have a new drug,
Which is called the close-hug,
Which will mend your complexion, and make you look snug,
A sovereign balsam, which once well applied
Though griev'd at the heart, the patient ne'er died.
In the morning you need not be robb'd of your rest,
For in your warm bed your physic works best;
And though in the taking some stirring's requir'd,
The motion's so pleasant, you need not be tir'd;
On your back you must lie,
And raise yourself high,
And one of these Doctors must always be by;
Who still will be ready to cover you warm,
For if you take cold all physic does harm.
Before they do venture to give their direction,
They always consider the patient's complexion;
If she have a moist palm, or a red head of hair,
She requires more physic than one man can spare;
If she have a long nose,
Scarce anyone knows,
How many large handfuls must go to the dose;
You Ladies that have such ill symptoms as these,
In reason and conscience should pay double fees.
246